Football sucks

I'd come to terms with it. I'd accepted 8-8, mediocrity, middle-of-the-road. I KNEW this was going to happen. I KNEW IT AFTER THE FUCKING COLTS GAME FOR GOD'S SAKE. The Eagles are super bowl contenders- there was no way the 49ers were going to beat them at home.

And yet, this game made me angrier to watch than any other game this season. WHY?!?!? What the hell did we have any reason to expect?? I hate football for doing this to me every week, and and every year. Of course, that's easy to say on a Sunday after my team has been humiliated.

Next sunday I'll be right back there, watching them play down to their competition and probably blowing a game they should win. It's honestly starting to make me wonder why I bother investing my time in this shit. Is there hope of getting better? Sure, but there is every year. Are things different this offseason than they ever have been? Sure, but they are every year.

Every year you can find SOMEthing that's different, something that gives you hope that next year will be better, NEXT year will be worth watching!

But WILL it?

I don't think I'll ever be able to get to the point where I honestly don't care- I'm sure none of us as fans could envision that day where we REALLY don't care about the team either way. But god damn, they are really pissing me off, and I'm not entirely sure what they need to do to get better. Coaching? New players? I honestly believe this team has enough raw talent to be a playoff team. So WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM?

I guess all we can hope for is offensive continuity for the first time in 7 years, an improved offensive line, and an improved pass rush. But pardon me if I'm not 100% sure those things will actually happen.

After all, it hasn't before, so why should we continue to believe that NEXT year will be different?

All I'm left with now is rooting against the Vikings with every fiber of my being. God I hate them.

I KNEW THEY WERE GOING TO LOSE

SO WHY IS THIS PISSING ME OFF SO MUCH. GOD DAMNIT.

Some perspective?

I'm pretty sure everyone agrees that hell will have to freeze over before the 49ers would go on the road to the eastern time zone and win a game they absolutely HAVE TO WIN. It IS customary for the Iggles to blow a game every year at around this time, but boy is it unlikely to be this one.

So with that said, we as fans are resigning ourselves to another year of mediocrity, albeit this time one where we may actually have a non-losing record for the first time in 7 years.

And ya know what? That ain't so bad. I'm not sure exactly what we expected to get out of this season. Maybe if a couple more breaks went our way (minnesota, indy, houston, etc) we'd be better, but the fact of the matter is that .500 for a team whose offense did a complete 180 halfway through the season is more than acceptable.

More than that, the 49ers are the only team in the NFC west that is set up for any sort of long-term success. When this season started and I saw football outsiders say the Rams were the "sleeper team" in the NFC West, I could NOT understand their reasoning. At all. The Rams have nobody outside of Steven Jackson that you are in the least bit worried about.

And that got me thinking, how many guys ARE there like that in this division?

So to cheer us niner fans up a little bit, I thought I'd try to break down the "impact players" (for lack of a better term) in the nfc west. Guys who you as an opponent are scared of, and guys you have to gameplan for:

NFC CRAPWEST BREAKDOWN

1. Arizona Cardinals
Impact player count: 3 (Warner, Boldin, Fitzgerald)


Obviously a team with a LOT of offensive talent. Wisenhunt is a good coach, and they have amazing skill position players- Fitzgerald, Boldin, Breaston at WR, and Wells looks like he's going to be a pain in the ass for a long time.

BUT

The centerpiece of their offense is a guy who will not be in the league in 2 years, maybe not even next year. Kurt Warner is eventually going to start playing like he's 40, and when that happens they have no backup plan. With Leinart at QB, the Cardinals are barely a .500 team, even with all the available weaponry on offense.

Their defense just makes me go "meh". Not great, not terrible. Rodgers-Cromartie is very good, but can be destroyed if you fool him.

Seattle
Impact Player count: 1? (Hasselbeck?)

Seriously, who on this team scares you, or WILL scare you in the near future? I can't think of anyone outside of Curry. He could be a beast, but he sure hasn't been that great this season.

On offense they have nobody. Hasselbeck is old and can't stay healthy, Branch is done, Houshmanzadeh is pretty OK, but isn't the kind of guy you have to scheme your defense around, and Julias Jones? Really? Forsett looks like he'll be a good player, but I'm not sure he's going to be a guy you're terrified of. Other than Forsett, they have no young up-and-coming talent that will soon be a threat.

Their defense is just more "meh", with the aforementioned Curry being the lone bright spot. The rest is just a bunch of dudes who aren't awful, but, again, aren't guys that you spend the week preparing for.

St. Louis
Impact Player count: 1 (Steven Jackson)

Oh no. Ohhh noooooooo. This is the 2004 49ers with a better running back and better safety. No need to spend much time on this team- turnover happens quick in the NFL, but it's tough to imagine them being any good in less than 2 years.

San Francisco
Impact Player count: 6 (Crabtree, Gore, Davis, Willis, Clements, J Smith)

Ahhh yes. The entire core of this offense is under the age of 27. Smith looks good. Crabtree looks like he could be a top 10 WR, Gore is a top 5 RB, and Davis is a top 2 TE. Willis is the best linebacker in the game, Clements is borderline, but when he left the defense got quite a bit worse, and Smith is a guy that offenses hate because he just does. not. stop.

If Alex Smith keeps improving (he'll go into next year as the defined starter, and for the first time he'll be entering his second year in the same offense), then the sky is the limit for the offense. They have skill at every position save offensive line, and that skill is young and established. Obviously offensive line is important, but Rachal and Staley both look like they're going to be solid, and Heitmann is one of the best in the game.

More of the same on defense. The skill position players that the defense is relying on are young and talented, and aren't going anywhere any time soon. Goldson could be special, Clements has at least another 2 years left, same for Justin Smith. Also, apparently Shawnte turned into a really good player over night.


So what's my point? Yes, this year was frustrating. We're one miracle play and one trick play away from being in the driver's seat.

BUT

The team has a lot of young talent that is steadily improving, and the rest of the division doesn't. SOMEbody has to win the NFC west every year, and right now it looks like the Niners are built to be able to do that for awhile to come.

Fuck you, Brett Favre

Fuck you good. And fuck all you stupid pussy bandwagoning Vikings fans.

Man, today really made me angry RE: Football. Watching that jackass finally melt down is just the soothing balm my angry heart needed.

I hope you Vikings fans (not that any are reading this) enjoyed your little run of good luck, because now "December Brett" is coming back. and you won't like him very much.

Oh FFS

Blown non call on the PI, epic failure in short yardage, burning all 3 TOs. Fuck this fucking team.





EDIT VERNON DAVIS I FUCKING LOVE THAT PLAY!

I don't even care

that the coaches are going to say that the offensive performance "has nothing to do with any change ever, we've always been this good blah blah blah". Fuck them. They're finally doing what they should have been doing ever since Smith took over, and WHAT A SHOCK- it's working.


Alex Smith, professional NFL quarterback. Suck it, haters.

Fire the shit out of Jimmy Raye

When the hell is he going to realize that you don't have to wait until you're down by 20 to play offense?

And no, the Packers were not in prevent at all. They were running their normal defense. If they call the offense like they did in the second half over the whole game, they win. The defense sucks without Clements and Spikes, too.

No fucking excuse for this. Stop with the retarded offense and run the spread- it works, your lame shit doesn't.

Was I right?

or was I RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHHHTTT.


Plolayoffs. What a fucking joke of a team we root for. Jesus Christ.


YOU WANNA CALL ANOTHER FUCKING DIVE PLAY JIMMY?!? THEY PROBABLY WONT SEE IT FUCKING COMING THIS TIME.


/arnaz battle returning punts again.

Thanks 49ers

You fucking horrible football team: thanks for just letting Greg Jennings help me relive Antonio Freeman's slant for a touchdown in the 96 playoffs.

Why don't you go ahead and get blown out. I hate you all for not showing up. I knew this game would suck, in fact I had no doubt.

And is there any doubt at all about Alex Smith? I mean, sure, something bad will probably happen, but you have to THROW THE FUCKING BALL to make anything at all happen. The guy is a stiff and a terrible, terrible quarterback. I bet we see Shaun Hill after the half (at the very latest).

Yay another sack, awesome job offense.

Fuck Green Bay, too. Those people in the stands are repulsive.

Lol

Green Bay defensive coordinator Dom Capers runs a hybrid 3-4 scheme that makes dramatic scheme adjustments depending on the opponent. So the 49ers will try to guess along and figure what the Packers showed in their first nine games that they might apply to Sunday's game plan.

We're fucked.

Really? We're going to rely on Jimmy Raye to "guess along" and figure out what the Packers are going to do on defense? Don't even bother watching the absolute travesty that's going to unfold on the heated tundra in 4 days.

Seriously, how is Jimmy Raye even taken seriously at this point? It's pretty GLARINGLY obvious that he is not an NFL level offensive coordinator- for God's sake, he was surprised to see the Packers running a different defensive scheme on Sunday than the one they'd used the previous week. Really? We're relying on this guy to run an NFL offense?

Kill me now.

Sooo...

...are you getting a very familiar feeling with this game?

So THAT'S why the offense has been conservative

Once a (pretty bad) team actually had the opportunity to gameplan against Alex Smith, we see that he is, in fact, nearly the same mediocre player that we were hoping would become something better than that. Very little has changed with him, and I fear that the 49ers' may be sitting in 6-10 land waiting for Smith to not suck for longer than necessary. He has the rest of this season. If he's not awesome by the end of it, get the fuck rid of his sorry brainy-will-never-be-ready-for-primetime ass and draft someone. These are years of a franchise's life going to waste. Frank Gore's career will likely be wasted. Willis' best years are being wasted. My Sunday afternoons are being wasted.

Eric beat me to the punch, but just in case any of us (or Mike Singletary) are under any illusions, this will not be a playoff team. The Arizona Cardinals, inconsistent as they may be, are a clearly better football team who has a two game lead and a cake schedule (only games against Minnesota and Green Bay are worth mentioning). So, the division is out.

Wildcard? The 49ers are competing with the Bears, Packers, Falcons, and 2/3 of the Eagles, Cowboys, and Giants for two spots. That's assuming that the only competition involves teams with better records than 3-5 (the 49ers have the same record as the freaking Seattle Seahawks). There is no chance.

So, just eight games into the season, we already face the depressing reality that this will once again be a crappy football team that will not be "playing in January" as the kid owner put it.

The defense is good enough to not suck as it's been for a few years. Which is to say, they're just good enough to let you down week to week. The offensive line is crap. The quarterback is crap. If Singletary says anything ridiculous about the playoffs or anything else after this game, he will become Mike Nolan 2.0 in my eyes: delusional, lost on offense, and just not effective. He's already two out of three.

I'm Done*

Enjoy this dogshit team, I can't take it anymore. Plus my kid is learning too many cuss-words on Sunday afternoons.

Damn I hate this team.

Singletary hasn't done dick. This is the same exact 49ers team we've been watching for the last 6 years. I wonder if today's post-game comment will be, "we have to learn how to finish". Riiiight. Keep fooling yourself, "Sing".

It feels good to feel the burning hate for Singletary and his bullshit message. And let's be honest, anyone wearing a giant wooden cross has to be a dick.

This isn't even a 6-10 team. This is the same team that always drops 5 or 6 or 7 or 8straight games in the middle of the season. Nothing has changed!

Alex Smith crumbles under the slightest pressure. Fuck his little hands. He should
be in the UFL. You KNEW both those picks were coming.

*Yea, I'll probably be back watching on Thursday night. I obviously hate myself.

It was option B

Alex Smith is good. Vernon Davis, Frank Gore, and Micheal Crabtree are good. The O-line isn't good, but it's decent enough to win games.

The defense was amazing, and held Peyton Manning without a TD pass. Seriously.

This game was lost because the 49ers do not have professional NFL-level coaches running their team. IDK if the blame rests mostly on Singletary or Raye, but both the horrendous playcalling and unbelievable mental errors cost them this game, and both of those things rest on the coaches.

Mediocre team at best. The talent is there, but it's hamstrung by poor management.

So which is it?

To my mind, there are 3 ways this season can go from right now onward, and we'll see this Sunday how it all shall unfold:

1. Alex Smith resurrects his career and leads the team to a playoff berth.
The 49ers are the "where the hell did THEY come from???" team, and WE are finally the team that gets the endless breathless reports on how they've turned their season around and how great of a story it is to see Smith bounce back from a terrible start to his career.

Sunday's impact: A win over the Colts. If the 9ers win on Sunday, it will be because Alex Smith is the real deal. That will get everyone's attention in a right hurry.

Odds of happening: 5%. Let's be real- we're 49er fans. In the 00s, that means we get shit on and like it. No chance we end up being "that" team this year. Though I do love my boy crabs.

2. Alex Smith is merely "meh", and leads the team to another 7-9, 8-8ish type mediocre season. Everything we've seen in the last couple weeks and last couple years: sort of OK play from the defense, "meh" play from the offense, and enough stupid mental and coaching errors to just make them frustratingly close to being successful, and that keeps us coming back for more.

Sunday's impact: a close loss to the Colts. They get down fairly big (think last week), and are able to come back and make it a game, but they're never ACTUALLY in it. We've seen it many, many times before.

Odds of happening: 75%. By far the most likely outcome. I'm rooting for Smith to be sure, but forgive me if the last 4 years of watching this team have pretty much squeezed out any shred of optimism I may have had. Boy, it was fun to watch him on Sunday, but he was playing against vanilla defensive looks and not a guy I like to call "BOB SANDERS".

3. Alex Smith is an unmitigated disaster.

He plays terribly or even gets injured. The season spirals out of control and into a 5-11/6-10ish end. Plus side: we get 2 top 10 picks, thereby destroying our cap space for the near future. Wait, that's not good either.

Sunday's impact: a disastrous blowout loss on the level of the Atlanta game. There is no excuse for that to happen again, and if it does, then we know what we have on our hands- another season of bitter disappointment and disillusionment.

Odds of happening: 20%. I'm not sure I think this team is this bad, but there is definitely that chance floating around in the back of my head. I really think Smith looked excellent on Sunday, vanilla defenses or no, but there's a nagging thing in the back of my mind that makes me think we can't possibly expect anything other than disaster and blood and guts and destruction. Maybe it's the whole "I've been watching this team play football for 4 years" thing.

Houston, we have an offense.

Um, wow. I'm not really sure how to express what I just saw in words. Truly a tale of 2 teams.

In the first half it was Atlanta game part deaux- defense terrible, offense terrible, nobody could do anything. Also, Arnaz Battle needs to be cut. He does nothing that warrents keeping him on an NFL roster, and hasn't for at least 2 years now. With Crabtree, Morgan, Hill, and Jones, there is no reason for him to be here. He cannot field punts- I'm pretty sure I would do a better job than him, and I have a possibly broken thumb.

Alex Smith threw 3 touch down passes in one half. I'm going to let that sink in for a minute.

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OK? Alex Smith had 4 fewer fantasy points than TOM BRADY. In one half.

And yes, Houston didn't gameplan for Smith all week. But that was not injured Alex Smith. That wasn't "hasn't played football for 2 years" Smith that we saw in the preseason. That was a different player. Seriously. Forget the 3 TDs- they were great, but the way he LOOKED throwing them was spectacular.

He moved in the pocket. Alex Smith. Moved. In the pocket. To avoid defenders. He threw the ball on time. Alex Smith. Threw. The ball. On. Time. He fit it into tight spots. Seriously, go watch that 3rd TD to Davis. Since I started following this team, I haven't ever seen a 49ers QB make a throw like that.

Im not happy with this, though. This was a horribly coached game. It is completely unacceptable to look like this after you've had 2 weeks to prepare for an opponent- wrong packages, too many men on the field, stupid delay of game penalties, wasted timeouts, keeping Battle in as a punt returner when he has shown absolutely no proficiency in that department EVER in his career, etc.

Some of that can be attributed to the patchwork Oline and both Smith and Crabtree being on the field for the first time in a very long time. So in some respects I let it slide, but even in the first half the coaching was pretty bad.

It would have cured a lot of ills if that last drive had ended with points. Overall, I feel the less bad about this loss than I did after either of the other 2. The offense showed it's willing to make some changes once smith came in and that was refreshing. Smith looked really, REALLY good. The defense picked it up in the second half and played well.

If they can capture the way they played in the second half and bottle that up for the remaining games, they're a legit playoff team. I'm not totally sure they can, though. We'll have to see how Smith handles a defense that knows he's coming, and how the defense handles the best quarterback in the NFL. I'm expecting a 3-4 record after next week.

GO GIANTS!

Nate, you were 100% right

damn, I really thought we were gonna get to watch a good team finally. At least the first few weeks were fun, though. Back to the depressing mediocrity we know so well

WOW

IF ONLY SOMEBODY IN THE WORLD KNEW THAT IT WAS A FUCKING RETARDED FUCKING IDEA TO CUT A FUCKING PROFESSIONAL RETURN MAN FOR A DUMB SHIT WHO DOES NOTHING BUT FUMBLE FUCKING PUNTS.


HOLY SHIT I AM SO PISSED RIGHT NOW

The Difference

“I’m not going to apologize to the fans again, but the one thing that I want you to know after a game like yesterday, it’s a situation where you kind of sit back and go, ‘Wow, I didn’t really know that could happen again.’ And the thing I will say is this, this team will be a special team, this year will be a special year. It’s unfortunate as to what happened yesterday. As a staff, we did not do a good job preparing for a team (coming off) a bye week. But going forward, we will come back and we will get better and we will be a team for our fans to be proud of.”

Are those just words? Sure they are. But at this point, the only thing the coach of our team can offer us is words until they take the field again in 2 weeks. Do you know who NEVER EVER not once EVER used words like this? Mike Nolan. It's true that we were all giddy and exuberant about that moron once- I remember in the old furom days I was drawing parallels to his first couple years and Bill Walsh's for god's sake.

But if there's one thing I remember about Nolan it's that he never took responsibility for anything. After a blowout loss like this there is no way he would have had a player go up to the podium and steal 5 minutes of his spotlight to apologize for an unbelieveably moronic error. There is NO WAY he would have admitted the coaching staff wasn't properly prepared! Seriously! Can you imagine Nolan saying anything like that, even when it was BLATANTLY OBVIOUS to the rest of us?

Yes, yes, bashing Nolan again. I do it all the time. But my point isn't just to say "hahahahha Sing's better than Nolan derrrrrrrrr", but simply to say that Singletary made my faith stronger that this is truly a different team, and that this week's game was truly an aberration, not something to expect from them.

Nolan never really acknowledged that he made mistakes, so it was impossible for him to learn from them. Thus we got a rotating vortex of suck that never really improved. Sing looks to be very introspective and fully able to admit when he or the staff screwed up, he holds himself accountable just like he held Davis and Bly accountable.

Now, like has been brought up, if the team just isn't that good (a distinct possibility), then all the pep talks and responsibility-taking in the world isn't going to give them more talent. BUT, if Sunday's performance was a result of a conspiracy of problems (unprepared, overconfident, mental errors, etc), then I have faith those problems won't repeat themselves. I'm just looking forward to seeing how they respond after living with this loss for 2 weeks. I think it may be a pleasant surprise for us.

The Silver Lining

October 2nd, 1994. Week 5. A humiliating home blowout loss against a so-so team drops the 49ers to 3-2. Is this sounding familiar?

No, this team is not the same team that had Jerry Rice and Steve Young. But here's the point: the team we saw on the field today was NOT the 2009 49ers. Know how I know that? Because I've been watching them play this season. Yes, they looked flat. They looked like they looked for the past 7 years, but the difference between those years and this year is that this year, this performance is out of character for this team.

Are they going to win 10 in a row like they did in 94? Highly unlikely. The reason I bring that game up is because it shows that even an all-time great team can have a week where they just utterly fail to show up in any facet of the game.

The sting and embarrassment of what we just witnessed should not taint the rest of the season- this is not Mike Nolan's 49ers. Singletary will not allow this to happen again. Sure, I thought he wouldn't allow it in the first place, but you better believe he's going to make the changes necessary to succeed. He has earned my trust with the decisions he's made since taking the team over, and I won't let one week out of 16 completely destroy that trust. We as niner fans have been burned so many times recently that our base instinct is to think the sky is falling after a showing like this, but I'm not going to do that today.

In 2 weeks we take the field against a pretty good team, but with the added strength of a pro-bowl running back and a young, dynamic wide receiver that could stretch the field and make some plays.

I think our guys maybe bought into their own hype just a little bit too much this last week, and maybe started taking the season for granted. Well, last time Singletary coached a blowout, his team came out absolutely inspired 2 weeks afterward and came within 1 yard of blowing up the division. The sky isn't falling- our guys got humbled today, and they sure as hell won't be taking any games for granted from here on out.

Is this 2005 or what?

Pitiful. The defense has completely collapsed. This reminds me of the some of the blowout losses of the past few seasons. Completely disgusted.

This is what you eventually get with a team that has zero margin for error. A couple of turnovers and . . . boom! . . . Mike Nolan football all over again.

This is also why that Vikings loss was so devastating. The 49ers really needed that win. After today, in all likelihood, they will be only 1/2 game up on the Cardinals. I'll pick the Cardinals next week against Seattle. The next time the 49ers play a game, they're going to be tied for first place. You can make fun of the Cardinals all you want, they went to the Super Bowl last season and proved that they can beat good teams and go on a run. The 49ers have proved fucking nothing. They are no longer favored to win the division, or make the playoffs.

Now they have a wicked schedule coming out, in which they could easily lose quite a lot of games over the next two months. This team is back to square one as far as I'm concerned.

Ridiculous, glowing optimism

From me? NEVER!

The way this whole Crabtree thing was handled just renews my faith in the direction this organization is going 100 times over. They stuck to their guns, waited it out, and in the end got pretty much what they wanted: the best WR in last year's draft, and at a price that was fair for where he was picked.

Scot and Paraag look like they are the real deals. They know what it is they're doing and they do it soooo freaking well. Obviously it would have been nicer if it had gotten done sooner, but I really feel good about the way this was handled. It doesn't give me that "oh my god we totally screwed that up" feeling I've gotten so many times before from watching Brian Sabean operate.

And for everyone that thinks Crabtree is a "diva", from everything he's said in interviews it doesn't even appear that he's on VD's level, let alone TO. I'm pretty sure Sing will be able to handle the guy. I can't wait for the Texans game.

Update: here's some more info on the contract

Update update: I also now get to bust this baby out in public without embarrassment (had it since May):

Obligatory Crabtree and why I don't miss Mike Nolan

Yeah, Matt's been dropping hints on twitter and his blog that the deal will probably be done today. Sure, it's exciting, but anyone who thought he was sitting out the whole year is a moron. Maybe he'll get in on one or two plays against Atlanta, but this will be a BIG help for those killer games right after the bye. Nice timing, Micheal, now go catch TDs for us.

Anyways, not much else to say on that matter so: due to Denver's recent OK performances against sub-standard competition, some people are already speculating that the performance of Mike Nolan's defense could be setting him up for another head coaching gig next year.

Now, I know that nobody reading this is stupid enough to think that Nolan would be a good coach. But, I recently stumbled upon a video clip that sums up exactly WHY Nolan will never ever be a good head coach in the National Football League (/schlereth). Enjoy:




Of particular note: notice the way Davis treats Nolan, and, more importantly, Nolan's reaction. He stands there with his hands on his hips after repeatedly saying "get back here" as Davis walks away, completely ignoring him.

Wow. I wonder why Davis was such a diva before this year? If I could get away with acting like that, I probably would too. After I saw this, what Singletary did in the seattle blowout last year gained infinitely more respect for me. Just imagine what that meant to the other guys on the team to finally see the head coach step up and take charge like that. Small wonder the team looks so much better now with a guy like Singletary leading them.

And thus we reach the point: being a head coach in football isn't about knowledge of offense or defense. It isn't even all THAT much about game management, though they do have some responsibility in that area.

It's about surrounding yourself with the right people, and, most importantly, being able to manage your team effectively. If I'm playing for Nolan and I see Davis acting that way without repercussions, that would seriously fuck with the chemistry on my team. And if the team has resentment for the head coach, there's no way they're going to be successful.

So go ahead, rest of the league. Get suckered in by Denver's defensive turnaround. The rest of us will smile and nod knowingly at your future inevitable demise.

Hi Packers Fans

Did you enjoy that bullshit taunting penalty as much as I did? Because I sure enjoyed the eerily similar Shawntae Spencer penalty last week in the Metrodome. What a fucking joke call. We can just call it the Favre courtesy call. It'll be our thing. Just kidding: I hate you, Packer fan.

Yup, they're for real.

Was that first quarter (or even first half) pretty? Nope, not at all. But once again, they pulled an anti-Nolan: they capitalized on the other team's mistakes and bounced back from a poor start to put the other team away.

This defense is amazing. Sure, the rams are terrible, but oh my lord, they are a swarming group of animals out there. Once again Jackson was shut down, and they scored TWO touchdowns! What in the world? Also, this was the first 49ers shutout since 2001. Think about that. Wow.

The offense still worries me, but not as much as it might worry some others. When Raye opens the tap a little bit, the offense shows it does have enough talent to make some plays. I'm not real sure why he doesn't open it up more often, but whatever.

Here's to hoping Frank's ankle heals REAL quick, because while he may be a decent backup, coffee is NOT a long-term solution as a starter. Dude looked pretty brutal on some of those runs.

All in all this was just a plain ol fun day. Wasn't it nice to be on the other side of this kind of game for once?

Also, if you want to be pissed off, just think about the fact that we could easily be 4-0 right now with a 2.5 game lead in the division while being 3-0 in said division. Oh well.

Jake Locker fan club starts here

Wow, this guy looks like Tom Brady. I made a post last year hoping we got Crabtree, and damn- let's use that Panthers pick to get this kid. He looks special.

I'm starting to hate Jimmy Raye

Fuck the heck?

Earlier today I asked 49ers offensive coordinator Jimmy Raye on whether he believes in using four-receiver sets. The 49ers have not put four wideouts on the field at the same time this season. And they use three receivers sparingly.

"It would stress us tremendously to have double open edges and four wide receivers and no threat to run the ball and put that kind of pass-rush burden on our offensive line and on the quarterback," Raye said. "I think we would be entering into foreign territory at a point where we don't need to.

I'm sorry guys, I thought we were rooting for an NFL team here, apparently we've been rooting
for an offensive coordinator who is scared to run anything more than a pop-warner offense.

Are you kidding me with this? "it would stress us tremendously" to have a 4 WR set, something every goddamned team in the NFL can manage without the entire world collapsing in on the stadium in which they are running said formation.

This theory of "OMG! BUT THERE'S NO RUNNING BACK ON THE FIELD OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG WHAT WILL WE DOOOO?????" is so retarded I can't even believe it came out of the lips of another human being. So he doesn't think it's possible to operate an offense without a "threat of running the ball", but it's fine to run an offense with absolutely no threat of a pass? Yup, makes perfect sense.


"Now if it's for some cosmetic purpose, to make somebody feel better, we could go spread out everybody and throw it all over the lot, but that's not what we do. We have the ability to do that if for some reason -- injury or a situation dictated that -- we have that package."

Good to know, Jimmy. Good to know that we could do it, but we're bloody well not going to try anything new! Because the offense has sure been humming on all cylinders when you run out 1 WR sets and slam the RB right into a pile.

And, of course, he's got a lot to go on, since when Shaun Hill was in an offense with a lot of 3 and 4 WR sets last year he threw for -3920 yards, no TDs and 35 interceptions. He was also sacked a league-record 334508473 times and eventually just started falling into the fetal position every time he dropped back, as you can see in this file footage from a year ago:





Please, Jimmy Raye, do not fuck this up. I want to see one of my teams in the playoffs for the first time since 2002. For the love of god, the division is yours for the taking. You have the personnel, you lost your star RB, USE THE GODDAMNED PERSONNEL TO THEIR FULLEST, YOU MORON.

Who are these guys?

To my mind there have been 3 team-defining moments in this young season for the 49ers:

1. Down 16-13 on the road, getting completely dominated on offense all day, they take over on their own 20 yard line to start the 4th quarter in Arizona. They proceed to go 80 yards in 7 1/2 minutes, their defense holds, and they win the game. A game that was over for me in the 3rd quarter. Mike Nolan's teams didn't do that.

2. Down 20-17 on the road, showing their resolve and hanging tough in the game after losing their best player, they get the ball once again at their own 20 with 12 minutes left in the 4th quarter. They once again go 80 yards and get the ball in the end zone, not settling for a game-tying field goal. Then the game inexplicably was ended 12 seconds early and they're now 3-0. Mike Nolan's teams didn't do that.

3. Coming home after a horrific ending, they now face one of the worst teams in the league. Trap game? I'm not sure. With Mike Nolan's teams maybe. However, I can't help but get a little nagging feeling in the back of my head that even though this game should be an automatic W, it may not be that simple.

Yeah, it's the Rams. It's Kyle freaking Boller at QB. It's a team with zero (and I mean ZERO) impact players at ANY position. And yet, I worry.

Because in my lifetime of following this team, they don't win games like this. This should objectively be a 35-6 trouncing, but yet I worry.

And thus, this is the reason why this game is team-defining moment # 3: a good team wins in a blowout. Good teams drive down the field and get points when they need them, and they destroy teams that are clearly inferior to them.

So, 49ers, who are you? Let's find out, because if they lose this game, and if they crush my hopes as they have so many freaking times before, the depths of my bummed-ness shall know no bounds.

THE MARCH TO 8-8, VOL 3: 2-1

Fuck that game. Fuck it right up the behind until in bleeds, then fuck it deeper and harder.

Now let's move on. Nate did a good job summing it up.

Positives: We hung with a team on the road after losing Gore and Coffee in the first quarter. If Nolan's the coach, there's no way we're even competitive, much less going into the final few minutes with a chance to win. This is not me trying to make this into a moral victory, because that's bullshit. It should have been a win. But all you can do after an abortion like that is look for positives and move on.

Another plus that wasn't mentioned before: Vernon effing Davis is a legitimate NFL player now. 2 red zone TDs- THAT IS WHY HE WAS DRAFTED. On the second one, I called it when they had nobody over the top to help out on him. He is a beast now that he can actually catch the ball. His attitude has changed completely as well, as even after the go-ahead touchdown he didn't act like a 4-year-old. If this game was nothing more than a coming out party for VD, then I'll take it and be happy.

Adrian Peterson was completely and totally shut down. He had one long run that led to their first TD, but after that he did nothing of consequence. This defense is legit.

The playcalling was, once again, disappointing. But I really feel like it's getting better each week. The run game had a little more success than vs AZ (not saying much), and Hill was given more opportunities early in the game. I think it's unfair to judge this as "Hostler 2.0" this early in the season. I honestly believe it's getting better and will continue to do so. Morgan and Davis both showed they're up to the task this week, so perhaps with Gore out 2-3 weeks, Raye will trust them to make some plays against sub-par defenses (stl and atl).

There ARE reasons to be positive after this loss. It was pretty fucking hard to find them when I was surrounded by 60000 screaming assholes dressed like transvestites, but there are reasons. I saw a good football team out there yesterday, and that was without one of the 5 best running backs in the NFL.

This division is cake. Like Sing said, we'll see them again in the playoffs, and fuck them if they think this is happening again.

Minnesota Vikings: Fraudulant Football Team.

34-20, 27-13

Those are the final scores of the Vikings' first two wins this season. When presented with that fact alone, and if one was a total moron, one might ASSume this = the vikings are a good team. No. Not even slightly. Allow me to explain:

1. Those 2 games were against the Browns and Lions. Point 1 over.

2. The Vikings were straight-up DOMINATED for an entire half against the Cleveland Browns. Seriously. They looked they didn't belong on the same field. The same held true in the Lions game- for a quarter and a half the team that didn't win a single game last year made many people's super bowl pick look like a pop warner squad.

Now I know that the final scores look impressive, but here's what happened in both games: the Vikings were outplayed for a half, and then in the second half both the Lions and Browns were unable to sustain drives. In the Browns case, it was general suckyness, and in the Lions' case it was Matthew Stafford forgetting that his team wears blue and not purple.

This led to their respective defenses being tired, which led to Mr. Peterson throwing his ample-sized arms into their faces and taking the game over.

Allow me to remind you what happened last time Mr. Peterson found himself up against a certain linebacker wearing the red and gold:


Sooo, yeah. Obviously, that was 2 years ago. But my point is this: the Vikings are where they are this year thanks to terrible opposing teams handing the game to them in the second half. From what we've seen of the 49ers so far, Singletary is not going to allow this. This defense is legit, and they look very stout against the run. (BTW, I especially like the "WTF!?!?!?!?!?" look peterson has as he's getting up.)

Brett Favre is going to have to throw for them to win- something he hasn't done at ALL this season. If their team is riding Brett Favre, we're leaving Minny with a 3-0 record and I'm taunting everyone I can see on the way out of the stadium.

It's going to come down to Hill vs Favre, and our WRs vs their WRs. In a very similar matchup last year, we won (vs the Jets). That game was played in Candlestick, but I truly believe this game is going to be very close, and I believe it is absolutely winnable. The Vikings are really not that good- contain Peterson, you beat them pretty easily. And we've already contained him in the past.

THE MARCH TO 8-8, VOL 2: 2-0

BAM BAM MAKE QUARTERBACK GO TO SLEEP

Yeah, this team is legit.

The Seahawks yesterday looked like the 49ers have so many times over the past few seasons: lost, confused, unable to move the ball, unable to get a key stop when they needed it, and overall they just looked bad. Yes, they had injuries; I'm sure it will be more of a challenge to go up to their house and put on a similar showing later this year. But damn, that was pretty amazing to see- the 49ers exerted dominance over their opponent for the entirety of the game.

And you know what I love? Remember in 07 when we went 2-0 by the hair on our buttcheeks and looked HORRIBLE in the process? Remember what Mike Nolan said after Jeff Wilkins missed a game-winning field goal by about 2 inches? He made absolutely no comment about how awful the 49ers looked in those 2 games, focusing on the 2-0 start and how everyone should just shut up because that's all that matters. Then they promptly dropped 8 straight.

In his press conference right after the game yesterday, a game in which the 49ers looked better than they have in any game I can remember back to 2003, Mike Singletary stood up there and said that if they played that way next week, they'll lose. And he was 100% right. This performance was good enough to beat a crappy, injury-riddled team at home, and it was impressive. But the Vikings are a real team, and Sing knows that. And I love that he knows that.

THAT is what a real coach brings to a team. There's no "way to go guys! We're 2-0!", no "victory mondays" after meaningless wins over crappy teams. Don't get me wrong, 2-0 in the division is great, but now they have to go play an early game in a dome against Adrian Peterson. And I'm going to be in attendance, so there's all kinds of cosmic juju working against them.

Arizona's showing IN Jacksonville really makes me feel good we have their home game out of the way. To my mind, the only challenging divisional game left is @ Seattle. If the 49ers come out and win in Minnesota next week, there is a very good chance they're 5-0 at the bye week, and the "march to 8-8" becomes a "march to 10-6". Atlanta at home doesn't look so scary after their first 2 weeks.

Oh yeah, and FRANK GORE, BITCHES. Who's laughing at me for taking him over LT NOW?

THE MARCH TO 8-8, VOL 1

Could someone confirm this for me? Were there 49ers defensive linemen in the Arizona backfield consistently during yesterday's game? That news just sounds too unlikely to be true.

What a freaking awesome win that was.

If the defense (pass rush) plays like that on a regular basis, this team is scary. Nate also made his money yesterday- he straight-up shuts Larry Fitzgerald down every time. Gave up the TD, but that was because Warner had about 20 minutes to throw that pass.

Something that isn't getting mentioned a lot, though: the Cardinals pretty much handed the game away with their terrible penalties. You can't count on that happening regularly

Which leads me to: the offense. Somebody needs to tell Shaun Hill that it's OK to not suck in the 3rd quarter. I love how he gets it done in the 4th, but he really can't afford to play so bad right after the half.

Also, someone needs to send a memo to Jimmy Raye and tell him that we don't have the offensive line for his offense. There was nothing on the ground, and there needs to be some adjustments made on the playcalling front. Seriously.

That was a lot of fun. A win against Seattle next week and we are really sitting pretty in this craphole division. Anyone see the Rams "play" Seattle? LOL football outsiders thinks they're going to be good this year. What a joke.

On kickoff eve...

Couple things:

• SHAWNTAE EFFING SPENCER is the starting CB. Not Tarrell Brown, not Dre Bly, SHAWNTAE SPENCER. Ummm, yikes. We get to see him "cover" Anquan Boldin. Start him in fantasy everyone!
• Vernon Davis is a captain. Over FRANK GORE. I've always hoped he'd come around and be a good player since he has so much talent. At least now he's showing that he isn't a psychopath any more. Let's hope the production follows the maturity.

Alright, so with the season kicking off tomorrow I thought I'd do something else we all used to do in the olden days and take our schedule week-by-week to see what a reasonable win/loss expectation would be. I know it's impossible to try and predict the strength of teams in week 10 before week 1, but it's still fun.

1. @ Arizona- Very winnable game. Boldin is hobbled, Warner is a year older, and they lost their entire coaching staff. Not to mention the fact that when teams lose the superbowl, they suck the next year. Arizona's D scares me just a little, but it's not a stretch to imagine a win here. 1-0
   
2. Seattle- Again, very winnable. Seattle will be a lot better than they were last year, so it's no gimmie, but the fact that it's at home helps. Whoseyourmomma is a big boost to their offense, but they have no running game. They'll still be able to rush the passer well with Curry, though. 2-0
   
3. @ Minnesota- Gotta say I think this is a loss, and that sucks because I'm going to be at this game. Their run defense is too good for us to go in there depending on the run. It comes down to if the passing game can be competent, because that's where they're vulnerable. We've shut down Peterson before, but now he's at home. 2-1
4. St. Louis- If we don't win this game, the season's over. They are terrible. 3-1
   
5. Atlanta- This could go either way. Their defense is bad, their offense is good. It really depends on if Micheal Turner is still a beast, or, as I imagine, he falls back to earth with a huge thud. I'm marking it as a win. 4-1
   
6. So, at the bye I've got us at 3-2 or maybe 4-1. Looks good, right? It's about to get ugly.
7. @ Houston- If Andre Johnson, Steve Slaton, and Matt Schaub are healthy, we're losing this game by 20 points. Mario Williams gets 5 sacks 4-2
   
8. @ Indianapolis- see above, but add 5 or 10 more points. Replace "Williams" with "Freeny" 4-3
   
9. Tennesee- Man, that defense looked good on Thursday. Their offense isn't great, but Chris Johnson is amazing, and that defense is incredible. I think this game makes 3 straight losses after the bye. 4-4
   
10. Chicago- Again, not very winnable. Cutler, Forte, and a great defense. I've got the Bears going to the superbowl, and I don't think the 49ers as presently constructed can beat this team 4-5
    
11. @ Green Bay- Playing in Wisconsin at the end of November. Need I say more? Not to mention the Packers might go to the superbowl. 4-6
    
12. Jacksonville- A winnable home game! Depends on what their offense looks like at that point, but I don't think it's a stretch to imagine the 9ers pulling this one out. Jags' D has gone downhill lately. 5-6
13. @ Seattle- Yeah, we're not winning this game if they're healthy. I know we've pulled out some amazing upsets there in recent years, but I really see no way this is happening. 5-7
    
14. Arizona- Again, winnable. I think Arizona will be about 6-10 or 7-9 this year. By this time it's very possible Matt Leinart is their starter. 6-7
    
15. @ Philadelphia- do I want to believe Singletary will have more success on the east coast than Nolan? Yes. Do I? No. 6-8
    
16. Detroit- Perfect time for the 49ers to lose to a creampuff at home. I think it's a win, but I'm not that confident. Calvin Johnson is a freaking BEAST. 7-8
    
17. @ St Louis- They're going to be bad, but it's a road game. There may be a playoff spot riding on this game, so it'll be interesting to see how the niners respond. I think they win. 8-8
    

The season will be made or broken in the 5 weeks after the bye. For this team, that is a BRUTAL schedule. I really see 8-8 as the best possible outcome, with 9-7 if we somehow beat Indy or Houston. Fortunately, that could very well be good enough to win the division, but c'mon- this team ain't doin nothing in the playoffs. The only way is if Gore stays healthy, Josh Morgan becomes what we all think he will be, and Vernon Davis turns into an actual threat.

They SHOULD at least be entertaining to watch. Unless they aren't, then it will suck.

Good sense prevails!

Pashos signed, Briggs to the PS. All is once again well in the world. If only it was Pascoe and not Finley on the PS. Oh well.

If Hill gets cut for Crabtree, I'm gonna choke a bitch.

Mike Singletary: Orator for the ages

Excellent job defending his roster selections during his press conference today!

So, Mike, why'd you choose Briggs for the 53-man?

"He's young, he has talent and going forward we just want to see him continue to develop. . . . He's still raw and we just have to work with it"

Hmm, OK, so why didn't Bear make it?

"When you look at Bear, he's a quality young man. I just think for him it's a matter of getting used to the speed of the NFL. Just getting used to seeing guys who are big and fast and coming at you, and you have to block them."

Hmm, well that sounds like a little bit of a contradiction, but OK. What about Kory Sheets?

"I think certainly he did some nice things, but what we wanted to do and keep focus of is we wanted to have the 53 guys who really gave us the best opportunity to win."

Weelll, wouldn't you agree that keeping a young, talented running back on a team whose strategy is to run the ball over 50% of the time on offense would be more valuable than keeping a 9th LB who probably won't see much playing time?

Here's what I'm seeing early on: young offensive player who shows promise but has rough edges: "needs to take some time and let the game slow down. Come back later" Young defensive player who shows promise but has rough edges: "well, we really like what we've seen and we think we can work with him"

Shit.

I don't mean to overreact here, but this is getting into SSDD territory with Mr Singletary. Offense doesn't exist, screw the offense. We'll keep enough guys to field an offense, but we'll keep 7 defensive linemen 9 linebackers, and 5 safeties, at the expense of a fullback and blocking TE, because who needs a blocking tight end in a run-first offense, anyways? Oh, and screw that young, fast, powerful runner. He can't help us win, but a 9th linebacker sure can!

Argh.

Blerg

Final 53 man is set (copied from Matt). Mostly what I thought, but anger-inducing players marked appropriately:

QB (3) - Shaun Hill, Alex Smith, Nate Davis

RB (4) - Frank Gore, Moran Norris, Glen Coffee, Michael Robinson

WR (6) - Isaac Bruce, Josh Morgan, Arnaz Battle, Micheal Spurlock, Brandon Jones, Jason Hill.

TE (2) - Vernon Davis, Delanie Walker

OL (8) - Joe Staley, David Baas, Eric Heitmann, Chilo Rachal, Adam Snyder, Tony Wragge, Barry Sims, Cody Wallace.

DL (7) - Isaac Sopoaga, Aubrayo Franklin, Justin Smith, Kentwan Balmer, Demetric Evans, Ray McDonald, Ricky Jean-Francois.

LB (9) - Manny Lawson, Patrick Willis, Takeo Spikes, Parys Haralson, Jeff Ulbrich, Scott McKillop, Ahmad Brooks, Marques Harris, Diyral Briggs.

CB (5) - Nate Clements, Tarell Brown, Dre' Bly, Shawntae Spencer, Marcus Hudson.

S (5) - Dashon Goldson, Michael Lewis, Mark Roman, Reggie Smith, Curtis Taylor.

ST (4) - Joe Nedney, Andy Lee, Brian Jennings, Allen Rossum.


Not a whole lot of quibbles, but like I mentioned earlier, Kory Sheets should be on this team. I really doubt he'll clear waivers for the PS, so this means we're probably losing him for good. I hope that's not the case, because I think he was in the Ahmad Bradshaw "speed with OMG he's-also-got-power" category.

Why we had to keep Briggs around boggles the mind. Would another team have really claimed him? Really? Over Sheets?? WTF. He would have been a MUCH better candidate for the PS.

Arnaz Battle. Enough said. Thank the lord his spot didn't come at Jason Hill's expense. I would have given his spot to Pascoe. Now we have to go out and find some scrub to be a blocking TE. Pascoe looked like he had a lot of promise, and I think there's a good chance we lose him, too.

Spurlock may lose his spot when Crabtree signs. Or maybe Briggs, or mayyybe Battle, if there is a God who cares about us.

Last one is Hudson- I would have preferred Green, but that's just because I really don't like Marcus Hudson. Not a huge problem with it, but c'mon. Marcus Hudson? Really?

Oh yeah, and WTF is Ulbrich still doing here??? Jeeez, why are we wasting a roster spot on a guy whose only contribution is special teams? I don't see the need for 9 LBs when we only have 2 TEs.

Quick note

Nate Clements, if you can't turn around and face the ball to prevent a 30 yard TD on 3rd fucking down against the other team's FOURTH GODDAMN RECEIVER THEN YOU NEED TO GTFO.

I don't care if it's preseason, he looked like an idiot on that play, and right after he dropped an easy INT, too. Jesus.

I need to take a moment to profess my raging man love for:

Nate Davis

Kory Sheets

Jason Hill


If Arnaz fucking Battle makes the team at the expense of Jason Hill, all of my enthusiasm about Singletary will go out the window.

ROSTERBATION!

That's what Grant over at McCovey Chronicles calls off-season Giants lineup speculation. With the first round of cuts coming up very soon, I thought we could do the yearly "who's gonna be on the 53-man roster" guesses. Position-by-position, here's what I'm hoping:

QB (3): Hill, Smith, Davis

RB (3): Gore, Coffee, Sheets

FB (2): Norris, Robinson

TE (3): Davis, Walker, Pascoe

WR (6): Morgan, Bruce, Crabtree (he'll sign), Jones, Hill, Zeigler

OT (4): Staley, Snyder, Sims, Trade/FA pickup (not sure any FAs would be worth it. Do trades like this ever happen in the NFL? Maybe use next year's extra number 1 or something)

OG (3): Rachal, Baas, Wragge

C (2): Heitman, Wallace

DL (7): McDonald, J. Smith, Balmer, Evans, Franklin, Sopoaga, Jean-Francois

LB (7): Willis, Lawson, Haralson, Spikes, McKillop, Harris, Brooks

DB (9): Clements, Brown, Bly, Green, Spencer, Roman, Goldson, Smith, Lewis

ST (4): Jennings, Nedney, Lee, Rossum

So that's my quick list. Goldson looks like he's gonna be a lot of fun to watch. He might give up some big plays, though, so look for that. His really aggressive style is more likely to make big plays, but can definitely backfire if he's not careful.

McKillop is a tackling machine. I think that he'll probably be a very good replacement for Spikes when the time comes. That should be a very dominant defensive middle with him and P 52 back there.

Overall, I'm pretty encouraged with the defensive look of things. The offense is full of ?s. Morgan? Davis? Hill? We just don't know if these guys will be able to blossom into really good players. We'll just have to wait and see. I'm very nervous that we're going to see a version of 2007 happening again.

Hill is better than Dilfer obviously, but the look of the offense is a cause for a little bit of concern. Raye seems like he's not going to take too many chances. That FG with 4 minutes left against Dallas showed a little too much conservatism for my tastes.

I really hope Singletary is not THAT conservative as a head coach, because if so then it will only be a matter of time until we're chasing him out of town too. I really think he's a guy who can succeed, but I thought that about Nolan at one point too.

The thing that encourages me the most is that the team looks like it can win games now. They were at least hanging in every game during the second half last season, and I see no GLARING holes on the team that make me think "ohhh craaaaap we're screwed". I'm actually excited to watch them, and I wasn't last year because JT O'sullivan was our quarterback. Should be fun.

It's that time of year again!

So it's been a little while, but with the season just around the corner, here's what I've been thinkin bout:

• Starting Shaun Hill was the right call. Alex, you may very well develop into an NFL-quality quarterback one day, but today is not that day. I saw nothing different from him in his 2 starts that showed he was any different than he's ever been- great arm, spotty accuracy, and inability to make quick decisions. Shaun moves the offense and keeps things going smoothly.
  

• Micheal Crabtree- OK, when's the last time someone held out an entire season after being drafted? It never happens. As of right now, Crabtree is only losing any workout bonuses he might have had in his contract- the real money doesn't come until week 1. So yes, he's losing valuable time he could be spending learning the offense, but when do rookie WRs ever come in and set the world on fire? It's stupid, but he will sign. How do I feel about it? Exhibit A:

Yup, that's mine. He'll sign, and he'll catch touchdown passes.

• Mike Singletary: capable coach

This team can make a run this year. Maybe I'll do a deeper breakdown of the NFC west a little later, but here's a quick primer:

Cardinals: Fluke of all flukes last year. They lost both coordinators, AND they lost the superbowl. That is the kiss of death. 2 more things: they're still the cardinals, and their season rests on an octogenarian who's one hit away from a rest home.

Rams: Look at their roster. LOOK AT IT! Name me 1 legitimate impact player whose name doesn't start with S and rhyme with "spleevin waxin". Also, he's always injured.

Seahawks: Jim Mora is their coach. JIM MORA! Yes, they were an intensive care unit last year, and yes, Matt Hasselbeck will be better, and yes, TJ whosyourmamma makes them better. I think they are the biggest threat to take the division, and I don't think it's unrealistic to think they can. But allow me to re-iterate my first point: JIM MORA JR IS THEIR COACH!

I really do think the 49ers have an actual, legitimate shot at 10 wins, and 10 wins should almost certainly be enough to win the division. I love that 3 of the first 4 are inter-divisional games, because that will show us if this feeling is justified right out of the gate.

Hopefully we get this place going a little bit this year, because it should be a fun time to watch our team. Look for me on TV week 3 @ minny, I'll be the doofus with the Clements jersey (unless crabtree signs and makes it into the lineup by then- doubtful) and the 9er helmet.

Wow, who's this guy?

I'm sure you've all read this by now, but it really struck me as amazing. I always remember Alex Smith interviews as being extremely frustrating- DUDE! Just say what you mean already! I guess that's just how most athletes are in general, though.

Do yourself a favor and read it if you haven't already- the guy is showing a maturity and determination that, at this point anyways, is very nice to hear.

A couple other notes: Matt seems to think Josh Morgan looks REALLY good so far. Again, it's spring. Everyone's going to go 16-0 in the spring. But still- I really think that without Crabtree we would have been behind only AZ with regards to NFCW WRs. With him, we're right there challenging them, and (maybe) even above them a little. Is Morgan comparable to Fitzgerald? Probably not, but he is really good, and Crabtree is....well, he's going to be just so much fun to watch.

Also, this Brandon Jones guy- we haven't seen much of him, but I was watching a Titians game replay on NFLN the other day, and the guy looked like he had some talent. With those 3 WRs, the offense is really looking promising. The one quibble I have is that none of our WRs is over 6'1. I'm not sure that's going to matter in Crabtree's case, since the guy has a knack for coming down with the ball, but it would still be nice to have a big tall guy out there. Maybe VD finally comes around and is that target.

I don't know, maybe I'm crazy, but this team just feels different now. I love the "don't tell me, show me" mantra. Admittedly, I'm pumping Crabtree before seeing him in the NFL, but some things are sort of a given. I really like Sing and the attitude he's given to the team, as well as the talent he's brought in. I think he's the kind of guy capable of taking a team to the playoffs, whereas Nolan really didn't seem like he had what it took to field a winning team. And I'm not sure if anyone else has noticed, but doesn't it seem like things are getting handled a LOT better between the coaches and the media these days?

Yes, that sounds like a bunch of BS, but from the moment Sing took over last year it was a different team. I really really hope the QB thing gets sorted out smoother than last year.

Draft Roundup

Alrighty, well that was an exciting weekend. What I thought I'd do (and I can't believe no one on the internet has done this yet!) is go pick-by-pick through the niners' draft, and give highlights of each guy.

1. Micheal Crabtree: I've heard of him. I think he might be pretty good. Here's a video complete with that music you always hear in car commercials:



2. Glen Coffee: I have to say, I never saw the guy in college, but from what I hear he's exactly what we're looking for- tough runner who will finally be able to get tough yards consistently. Doesn't need to have amazing speed- his job is to pick up the 3rd-and-ones we've been failing to get over and over and over and over. Sounds like he can. And from this video, he sounds like a perfect Singletary guy:



3. Scott McKillop: The only thing I know about Scott McKillop: his tackle rating in Madden 10 will be in the top 5 of all rookies. So he MUST be good, right? He sounds almost like a young Derek Smith- not going to blow your socks off with speed, but a very smart, very capable tackler in the middle. Sounds good to me. Not much video out there, so I went with Mel's anaylsis.



4. Nate Davis: YES YES YES. I was hoping from when I first saw this guy play this year that the niners would end up with him. Strong arm, excellent mobility, amazing accuracy. I think he'll be ready sooner than we realize, and here's hoping Alex Smith is able to hold him off. If Smith comes around or Hill is good, we'll have some really nice QB depth.



5. Bear Pascoe: Seriously, has there ever been a more appropriately named blocking TE? From what I hear, the guy's an even better blocker than Bajema, but also more of a receiving threat. So when we go 3 TE now, it's not a given that it's a running play. This video shows a nice red zone TD, but is kind of long. For added entertainment, watch their 2-point "try" at the end.




6. Curtis Taylor: Again, a guy I know really nothing about. He sounds to me like another Mark Roman- smart, but slow. He's a really big guy though, so that's a definite plus. The scouting report said he "likes to go for the big hit" rather than a turnover or the sure play. Roy Williams?


7. Ricky Jean- Francois: What? A FRENCH GUY?!?!?! But seriously, Mel sez he's really good but also quite raw, so he'll need some seasoning. See Soct? THIS is where you take talented-but-needs-work D-linemen, not the first round like you did last year. But I digress. This video showcases Taylor's really good Junior year and Jean-Francois making some nice plays before he got hurt.




All in all, I really like this draft. Matt's wrap-up is exactly how I feel; the lack of an OLB pick means they really think Manny and Parys are good. The lack of an OT pick means they're not Terry Donaghue and only take a guy if he's good, not just because he fills a need. I think Snyder and Wragge are fine as backups at this point anyways- there's always stop-gap FAs you can pick up in a pinch.

Should make for exciting times next year.

Miquanell Owrabdin

OMGOMGOMG. I cannot believe this. I mean, obviously I can, since I called it (me me me!!), but I SERIOUSLY CANNOT BELIEVE this actually happened. I knew the Raiders wouldn't take him (see next graph), and once the Chefs took Jackson over Curry I think that sealed it for us. There were enough teams with needs before 10 and enough players that weren't named "Micheal Crabtree" to fill those needs.

One quick note: Mike Mayock called Heyward-bay to the Raiders about a month ago and his reasoning was so good I latched right on to it and was pimping that from the moment I heard it. The Raiders are idiots and will always ALWAYS go for the fast guy, not the good guy. They are morons, and will see how stupid they were in the preseason when they get a TERRIBLE case of crabs. Ted Ginn Jr, vol 2. That is a such an idiotic Al-Davis-stuck-in-the-70s pick.

Anyways, we can now forget about having difficulty scoring in the red zone. Or from the 30. Or pretty much at any time ever. Wanna double Crabs? Fine, we got Morgan, VD, Gore, Walker, and Jones (is he any good? IDK, but he's making a lot money so he must be, right? *zito*). Wow, I just got excited talking about the 49ers' offense...

As for the trade, I have to say that I love it. I wanted Crabtree and Brace, and maybe Maualuga, but once those other 2 were gone, I think it was very smart of Scot to get a second first next year (even if it's only in the 20s), rather than forcing a pick in that spot. Is there anyone taken around there that's really that special? The only thing I don't like about it is giving up the 4th and not at least getting a 5th or 6th back next year. I never like 2-for-1s, but if that's what it takes, then that's what it takes I guess. Also tells me a couple things: A) the draft isn't very deep, B) Scot thinks Crabtree is fucking awesome, and C) Scot must also think Larylson is going to be able to get the pass-rush thing done.

Carolina just spend a first AND a second-rounder on hopes that Everett Brown is good. Clint Sintim? What kind of name is that? There just isn't anyone taken after Brace that makes me go "Ooooh, shoulda kept the pick!" Looking ahead to Sunday, and stealing from Gil Brandt, I really like Micheal Johnson and Jarron Gilbert, both of whom are big DEs. I especially love Johnson, a 6'7 guy who runs a 4.7 40. Very nice. He's also got hops and looks real quick. And Gilbert can jump out of a swimming pool! So that's cool!

Like I said before, I think Manny and Parys are going to do very well on the pass-rush front, and Manny can cover pretty damn awesomely if asked to. We also have that Balmer guy who might sorta be decent. Still not sure though. Considering that, the smart pick at 3 would probably be a Tackle. Brandt likes Jamon Merideth and why not? Nothing really looks bad about that pick if he's available. I think Tackle is probably the most pressing need at this moment and the guy looks like he's pretty good to me.

One thing that upsets me: Holy sh*t do the Seahawks have them some linebackers now. Replace Julian Peterson with AARON CURRY? Oh crap. Last year after the draft I posited (sorry to be sounding like a douchebag sportswriter here) that the Cardinals posed a serious threat after their draft...of course none of their rookies did much, but they were, as I recall, a decent team. I have that same feeling with the Seahawks. If they're not injured this year, they're going to be very VERY tough. Hasselbeck, Housh, Tatupu, Curry. That's a good base. Of course, we have crabs now. So there's that. Should be a lot of fun to watch anyways.

Other than Seattle, though, I see no real contender in the division. Combine the factors of superbowl losers' hangover, coaching upheaval, and the undeniable amount of "The Arizona Cardinals" left in them, and you've got a 5-11 or 6-10 Cards team. Also, their only good QB is 95. And the Rams are still the Rams. I'm pretty sure they're trying me out at WR tomorrow because their options are so limited. I run a mean 6.5 40.

And how about those unis?? Anyone else get the 15% off offer? I'm totally buying a Crabtree one. I've been driving his bandwagon since I saw the TT/Texas game. Too soon to say Crabtree/Morgan = Rice/Taylor? Nah! Not for football fans!

Yes sir! I've never been so excited after an entire day of a draft netted my team one player. Our season has changed for the much better today.

So this pass-rush thing

Apparently parys harallsosinlsnn is pretty good. That's exciting.

As for Lawson, I'm getting a kind of Julian Peterson vibe on the dude, just without the pre-injury production. JP was pretty lame the year after his injury, but then exploded all over the place the following season. Could we be in for the same from mr manny?

I'd say we go ahead and count on "yes", don't take a pass rusher until the middle rounds, and take Crabtree at 10. Watch out, NFC west. We gonna crush you (gonna gonna crush you)

Also, it sucks that we didn't get Jay Cutler. I think what the Bears paid was eminently reasonable, but whatev

49ers 2009 Schedule Released

And I bet they play the Rams, Cards, and Seahawks twice. Who cares: NHL PLAYOFF OVERLOAD TONIGHT!

My, well this is exciting

Yes indeed, it is not every day that your team has the opportunity to grab a young franchise-defining quarter back. So what do you give up for him? My preliminary offer to the Broncos would be as follows:

this year's number 10, next year's number 1, and next year's number 3. and Shaun Hill. I love Shaun Hill and have been one of his biggest backers, but come on, let's be serious here. JAY CUTLER.

Would this be enough? Would it be too much? Here's another question- if you had the chance, would you trade 3 lottery tickets that each have a 1 in 10000 shot of winning you 5 million dollars for a one-time, tax-free lump sum of 3 million dollars? Because that is what you're doing here. You're getting a guy that will single-handedly put your team in the playoffs for the next 5 years. What is that worth?

Last year, Jay Cutler didn't have his star WR for 2 games, and he didn't have a decent RB for 16 games. He had a defense with more holes than an aging porn star! /Rick Reilly.

Despite this, dude had his team 1 game from the playoffs. He was a machine (who, incidentally, led my team to fantasy football stardom). You bring him to SF and give him Frank Gore to play with...you've got an NFC west champion.

So to anyone who reads this in the next couple days- what is your ceiling on an offer to Denver? Do you think it's possible? Would you like to see this dude wearing number 6 in our shiny new unis?

Also: Isaac Bruce is back, which gives me much joy and happiness.

Kurt Warner is Rational

What the fuck:

"I told my wife probably 45 minutes into it that I just felt God say, 'You're supposed to be in Arizona.' And I told her that. She tried to tell me to stay open (minded) but He just continued to confirm it and that's why on the way back, I called Mark and said, 'Hey, let's get this thing done.' "

This is insanity. Voices in your head are a condition, not a benefit.

I did not want Warner on the 49ers; he would drop seven fumbles in the first four games. That's just how he does it when he joins a new team.

But this is crazy. He should seek help.

Anyway, I'm not surprised the Yorks got played like a ninth grader horny for his first kiss from his best friend's girl. That's how they roll. Jeb, Jed...whatever...he's a complete a tool. Stretch hummer and private jet. Jesus.

CHAAAANGE I can BEELIEEEVE In!

Anyone else been incredibly impressed with how Singletary is doing? He has a plan, he knows where he wants to go, and Jed York seems intent on letting him do exactly what he wants to do. That sure seems like the way a football team should be run- get the football guys to do the football guy stuff, and get the owner to write him checks to do said football guy stuff without asking too many questions. 

Hiring a 106 year-old OC whose career path has really had no success does seem a little worrying- but I'm starting to warm to the idea. The 49ers are going to be a defensive team, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's been defensive teams that have been the most successful over the past few years. IF they build up a decent-to-very-good defense (and they're really only a pass-rusher away), then the offense just has to be competent, not dominant. With Frank Gore and Shaun Hill, you've got yerself a competent offense. 

Think New York Giants- a team with a very good defense, a good running game (Scot wants to add a second RB to help Gore), a QB who's OK but not a world-beater, and a pretty good Oline. Sure, the niners don't have a Plaxico Burress type on the outside, but no analogy is perfect. Shaun Hill also makes fewer stupid mistakes than Eli Manning. 

The point is, all Mr Raye and company have to do is not lose games. The offense will not be responsible for winning most of the niners' games- it'll be up to the defense to keep it close, then the offense to put it away. That's what they did in the second half of last season (except when they were playing the Rams), and that's the plan for next year. There will be no more J.T. O'Sullivan throwing away games that should have been close, if not won. 

I, for one, am excited about this whole offseason. Singletary really seems like a guy who's given this whole thing a lot of thought and he seems very confident in his plan. I'm sure I felt the same way about Mike Nolan, but Sing has his record last season to go off of, and that was a pretty impressive performance. 

Also, I think we really need to recognize how cool Jed York is. To this point he really looks like a guy you want as your team's president- winning is everything and cost means nothing. Just get us a stadium and we'll love you forever, Jed. 

Umm,

what seems to be the problem RE: the OC thing? Am I the only one who's starting to realize that Chudzinski is looking like the perfect fit? They guy made Jamal Lewis a 1000 yard back, and he loved using his big, athletic TE. The 49ers' biggest weapon is Gore, and Vernon sure has a lot of potential if he has a coach that would use him effectively. Why is this taking so long? Linehan was probably a very good choice, but since he's declined, I'd love to know why Chud isn't being made an offer yesterday.

It's getting to the point where it was before 2007, when it was like February before we knew who the OC would be. Sing said he wanted it done quickly, so get it done man!

Chud for OC 2009. YES WE CAN

Fun fact

If his production was spread out over the whole season, Shaun Hill's numbers would have been 4000 yards, 26 Tds, 16 INTs, and a completion percentage over 60. Thanks again for O'Sullivan, Mr. Martz.

And it's not like they were playing the '85 Bears early on, either. Argh

The OC

Ok, so it's gonna be 7 in 7 years. I love what Mike Singletary's done so far, but forgive me for being just a little bit nervous about this one. He said all the right things in his press conference ("I know we need a long-term solution", "our philosophies were different", "I want to be able to run the ball late in games"), however, I'm just not entirely sure it would have been so terrible to hold on to Martz for one more year. Isaac Bruce was playing very well and probably won't come back with a different OC.

This move probably means that Alex Smith is out the door, unless he wants to hang around and have to learn a 5th offensive system in 5 years. Maybe some think that's not a big deal, but I have a feeling that will come back to bite the niners in the rear if they let it happen.

The best thing about it is that they're moving fast. Sing wants a new one hired "yesterday", so at least they understand the need for speed. Scot Linehan is actually a pretty interesting idea. Maiocco keeps throwing his name out there, and I can't see to much wrong with it. Ain't no way anyone's hiring him as a HC for a good long while, and he was a pretty decent OC. We all saw what happened to Cam Cameron- terrible HC gig, went right back to improving his next team's offense as an OC. Of all the names that have been thrown around, I gotta think Linehan is the most intriguing, even though I think he's a total douche. FWIW I also thought Martz was a total douche.