Adding This to the Pile

Oh hey, there's more proof that the guys in charge have no idea what they are doing. This is getting comical, I'm really not a betting type but I'm strongly considering laying down whatever I have on the "under" for 49ers wins next season.

I mean, you were going to force this guy to hire your DC? Then you tried to bring him back after you denied him the head coaching position?! What the hell is wrong with these people?

This Team is a Joke, and This Season Will be a Disaster.

Now that we're nearly out of the glow of watching Pete Carroll and Russell Wilson fail in the most spectacular and high profile way imaginable (I will never, ever, EVER get tired of watching that play. Russell Wilson just failed on the most high profile stage in his entire career, and he reacts as if he's playing a preseason game. I'm convinced he is secretly a sociopathic serial killer who has no emotions), it's time to get back to business: compiling reasons to believe this team is going to be a complete dumpster fire.

First, the weak stuff: the 49ers have the "third hardest schedule" in the league next year. This is utter bullshit, because we all know the teams they're playing will be significantly improved/worse/otherwise drastically different than they were last year. I'm not sure why articles like this get written, other than to serve as sweet sweet link bait for blogs and to give ESPN something to fill airtime with. But: they will at the very least be playing teams who were good a season ago.

Second, their coaching staff is LOL. Their offensive coordinator was their 3rd? 4th? 35th? choice, is in his mid 50s, and has only been a coordinator once before, for the Chargers. When they had Ryan Leaf. Cool!

Their tight ends coach is a failed former head coach. Their defensive coordinator is a (multiple time!) failed former head coach who presided over one of the worst defenses in NFL history in his only previous stint as a coordinator.

Their quarterbacks coach- a guy, I might add, who will be VERY VERY important to this team's offense getting better next season- was out of football coaching completely for the last THREE YEARS. He's literally been a sports talk radio host. He also looks a hell of a lot like Super Dave Osborn:

At least the team are embracing their punchline status and just straight-up hiring dudes who look like comedians. His claim to fame is coaching Matt Ryan in college, a guy who may be one of the most overrated NFL quarterbacks in recent history. This is the guy we are counting on to turn Colin Kaepernick into an NFL player. Right. 

I wasn't that great at math in school, but even I can see that these parts do not add up to an NFL-caliber staff that can take a team deep into the playoffs. 

When this team hired Jim Harbaugh, I knew immediately that they had changed forever, for the better. I knew the days of losing and being a pathetic laughing stock were behind us. I knew this because Jim Harbaugh had a track record not only of winning wherever he went, but of taking over teams that were absolute TRAIN WRECKS and transforming them into powerhouse institutions. Michigan will be challenging for national titles within 2 years. You cannot let a guy like that walk away. 

And thus brings me to the final reason why the people running this team are complete and utter morons, people who should not be trusted with a fucking HAMSTER, let alone a football team: not only did they not let him walk, they actively pushed him out the door when he wanted to stay. Maybe it's in his best interests to say that, sure. Maybe. I'm not sure why he would want to take a step back in level of competition, though. He's already proven by his actions that winning a super bowl is his biggest motivation. He wasn't going to go to any of the crappy NFL teams that wanted him, because their talent levels were years away from being super bowl ready. An NFL team with super bowl talent pushed a super bowl level head coach out the door because...why? Because they can't get along? Because he's hard to work for? Because he's too expensive? Any and all of those excuses are unacceptable. We're going to watch a super bowl team go 6-10 or 7-9 next season because the guys running the team are more worried about being in charge than they are about WINNING THE GAME, which is, after all, why we play. 

This team is a joke, the people in charge are morons, and next season is going to be a disaster. Congratulations on your 2015 division championship, Arizona! God, the season when Seattle is going to absolutely self-destruct, and we have to watch our team be even worse. This is horse feces. 

That.....was beautiful.

So wonderful. I can't belive it. I think that might be the most pathetic thing I've ever seen. How marvelous. There is no better way that could have ended. You know every single seahawks fan was completey INSUFFERABLE after that ridiculous catch. They were so sure they were going to win. It was guaranteed. They were strutting around because they have #beastmode and #skittles and Russel Wilson has #god on his side. But then their precious family man robot THREW AN INTERCEPTION ON THE GOAL LINE AND THEY LOST THE SUPERBOWL. How awesome is that??

That's worse than the way SF lost. 10 point lead with the worlds most incredible defense, you have a chance to walk in from inside the 5 and you TURN IT OVER!!! AHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I don't care how pathetic I sound, I loved that. I was watching with a friend who's a Patriots fan, we left our super bowl party early because neither of us could stand to see seattle win. I kept an eye on the game and we turned it on right at the end. Absolutely fabulous. It couldn't have happened to a worse fanbase, coach, or franchise. That was fabulous.