Who are these guys?

To my mind there have been 3 team-defining moments in this young season for the 49ers:

1. Down 16-13 on the road, getting completely dominated on offense all day, they take over on their own 20 yard line to start the 4th quarter in Arizona. They proceed to go 80 yards in 7 1/2 minutes, their defense holds, and they win the game. A game that was over for me in the 3rd quarter. Mike Nolan's teams didn't do that.

2. Down 20-17 on the road, showing their resolve and hanging tough in the game after losing their best player, they get the ball once again at their own 20 with 12 minutes left in the 4th quarter. They once again go 80 yards and get the ball in the end zone, not settling for a game-tying field goal. Then the game inexplicably was ended 12 seconds early and they're now 3-0. Mike Nolan's teams didn't do that.

3. Coming home after a horrific ending, they now face one of the worst teams in the league. Trap game? I'm not sure. With Mike Nolan's teams maybe. However, I can't help but get a little nagging feeling in the back of my head that even though this game should be an automatic W, it may not be that simple.

Yeah, it's the Rams. It's Kyle freaking Boller at QB. It's a team with zero (and I mean ZERO) impact players at ANY position. And yet, I worry.

Because in my lifetime of following this team, they don't win games like this. This should objectively be a 35-6 trouncing, but yet I worry.

And thus, this is the reason why this game is team-defining moment # 3: a good team wins in a blowout. Good teams drive down the field and get points when they need them, and they destroy teams that are clearly inferior to them.

So, 49ers, who are you? Let's find out, because if they lose this game, and if they crush my hopes as they have so many freaking times before, the depths of my bummed-ness shall know no bounds.

THE MARCH TO 8-8, VOL 3: 2-1

Fuck that game. Fuck it right up the behind until in bleeds, then fuck it deeper and harder.

Now let's move on. Nate did a good job summing it up.

Positives: We hung with a team on the road after losing Gore and Coffee in the first quarter. If Nolan's the coach, there's no way we're even competitive, much less going into the final few minutes with a chance to win. This is not me trying to make this into a moral victory, because that's bullshit. It should have been a win. But all you can do after an abortion like that is look for positives and move on.

Another plus that wasn't mentioned before: Vernon effing Davis is a legitimate NFL player now. 2 red zone TDs- THAT IS WHY HE WAS DRAFTED. On the second one, I called it when they had nobody over the top to help out on him. He is a beast now that he can actually catch the ball. His attitude has changed completely as well, as even after the go-ahead touchdown he didn't act like a 4-year-old. If this game was nothing more than a coming out party for VD, then I'll take it and be happy.

Adrian Peterson was completely and totally shut down. He had one long run that led to their first TD, but after that he did nothing of consequence. This defense is legit.

The playcalling was, once again, disappointing. But I really feel like it's getting better each week. The run game had a little more success than vs AZ (not saying much), and Hill was given more opportunities early in the game. I think it's unfair to judge this as "Hostler 2.0" this early in the season. I honestly believe it's getting better and will continue to do so. Morgan and Davis both showed they're up to the task this week, so perhaps with Gore out 2-3 weeks, Raye will trust them to make some plays against sub-par defenses (stl and atl).

There ARE reasons to be positive after this loss. It was pretty fucking hard to find them when I was surrounded by 60000 screaming assholes dressed like transvestites, but there are reasons. I saw a good football team out there yesterday, and that was without one of the 5 best running backs in the NFL.

This division is cake. Like Sing said, we'll see them again in the playoffs, and fuck them if they think this is happening again.

Minnesota Vikings: Fraudulant Football Team.

34-20, 27-13

Those are the final scores of the Vikings' first two wins this season. When presented with that fact alone, and if one was a total moron, one might ASSume this = the vikings are a good team. No. Not even slightly. Allow me to explain:

1. Those 2 games were against the Browns and Lions. Point 1 over.

2. The Vikings were straight-up DOMINATED for an entire half against the Cleveland Browns. Seriously. They looked they didn't belong on the same field. The same held true in the Lions game- for a quarter and a half the team that didn't win a single game last year made many people's super bowl pick look like a pop warner squad.

Now I know that the final scores look impressive, but here's what happened in both games: the Vikings were outplayed for a half, and then in the second half both the Lions and Browns were unable to sustain drives. In the Browns case, it was general suckyness, and in the Lions' case it was Matthew Stafford forgetting that his team wears blue and not purple.

This led to their respective defenses being tired, which led to Mr. Peterson throwing his ample-sized arms into their faces and taking the game over.

Allow me to remind you what happened last time Mr. Peterson found himself up against a certain linebacker wearing the red and gold:


Sooo, yeah. Obviously, that was 2 years ago. But my point is this: the Vikings are where they are this year thanks to terrible opposing teams handing the game to them in the second half. From what we've seen of the 49ers so far, Singletary is not going to allow this. This defense is legit, and they look very stout against the run. (BTW, I especially like the "WTF!?!?!?!?!?" look peterson has as he's getting up.)

Brett Favre is going to have to throw for them to win- something he hasn't done at ALL this season. If their team is riding Brett Favre, we're leaving Minny with a 3-0 record and I'm taunting everyone I can see on the way out of the stadium.

It's going to come down to Hill vs Favre, and our WRs vs their WRs. In a very similar matchup last year, we won (vs the Jets). That game was played in Candlestick, but I truly believe this game is going to be very close, and I believe it is absolutely winnable. The Vikings are really not that good- contain Peterson, you beat them pretty easily. And we've already contained him in the past.

THE MARCH TO 8-8, VOL 2: 2-0

BAM BAM MAKE QUARTERBACK GO TO SLEEP

Yeah, this team is legit.

The Seahawks yesterday looked like the 49ers have so many times over the past few seasons: lost, confused, unable to move the ball, unable to get a key stop when they needed it, and overall they just looked bad. Yes, they had injuries; I'm sure it will be more of a challenge to go up to their house and put on a similar showing later this year. But damn, that was pretty amazing to see- the 49ers exerted dominance over their opponent for the entirety of the game.

And you know what I love? Remember in 07 when we went 2-0 by the hair on our buttcheeks and looked HORRIBLE in the process? Remember what Mike Nolan said after Jeff Wilkins missed a game-winning field goal by about 2 inches? He made absolutely no comment about how awful the 49ers looked in those 2 games, focusing on the 2-0 start and how everyone should just shut up because that's all that matters. Then they promptly dropped 8 straight.

In his press conference right after the game yesterday, a game in which the 49ers looked better than they have in any game I can remember back to 2003, Mike Singletary stood up there and said that if they played that way next week, they'll lose. And he was 100% right. This performance was good enough to beat a crappy, injury-riddled team at home, and it was impressive. But the Vikings are a real team, and Sing knows that. And I love that he knows that.

THAT is what a real coach brings to a team. There's no "way to go guys! We're 2-0!", no "victory mondays" after meaningless wins over crappy teams. Don't get me wrong, 2-0 in the division is great, but now they have to go play an early game in a dome against Adrian Peterson. And I'm going to be in attendance, so there's all kinds of cosmic juju working against them.

Arizona's showing IN Jacksonville really makes me feel good we have their home game out of the way. To my mind, the only challenging divisional game left is @ Seattle. If the 49ers come out and win in Minnesota next week, there is a very good chance they're 5-0 at the bye week, and the "march to 8-8" becomes a "march to 10-6". Atlanta at home doesn't look so scary after their first 2 weeks.

Oh yeah, and FRANK GORE, BITCHES. Who's laughing at me for taking him over LT NOW?

THE MARCH TO 8-8, VOL 1

Could someone confirm this for me? Were there 49ers defensive linemen in the Arizona backfield consistently during yesterday's game? That news just sounds too unlikely to be true.

What a freaking awesome win that was.

If the defense (pass rush) plays like that on a regular basis, this team is scary. Nate also made his money yesterday- he straight-up shuts Larry Fitzgerald down every time. Gave up the TD, but that was because Warner had about 20 minutes to throw that pass.

Something that isn't getting mentioned a lot, though: the Cardinals pretty much handed the game away with their terrible penalties. You can't count on that happening regularly

Which leads me to: the offense. Somebody needs to tell Shaun Hill that it's OK to not suck in the 3rd quarter. I love how he gets it done in the 4th, but he really can't afford to play so bad right after the half.

Also, someone needs to send a memo to Jimmy Raye and tell him that we don't have the offensive line for his offense. There was nothing on the ground, and there needs to be some adjustments made on the playcalling front. Seriously.

That was a lot of fun. A win against Seattle next week and we are really sitting pretty in this craphole division. Anyone see the Rams "play" Seattle? LOL football outsiders thinks they're going to be good this year. What a joke.

On kickoff eve...

Couple things:

• SHAWNTAE EFFING SPENCER is the starting CB. Not Tarrell Brown, not Dre Bly, SHAWNTAE SPENCER. Ummm, yikes. We get to see him "cover" Anquan Boldin. Start him in fantasy everyone!
• Vernon Davis is a captain. Over FRANK GORE. I've always hoped he'd come around and be a good player since he has so much talent. At least now he's showing that he isn't a psychopath any more. Let's hope the production follows the maturity.

Alright, so with the season kicking off tomorrow I thought I'd do something else we all used to do in the olden days and take our schedule week-by-week to see what a reasonable win/loss expectation would be. I know it's impossible to try and predict the strength of teams in week 10 before week 1, but it's still fun.

1. @ Arizona- Very winnable game. Boldin is hobbled, Warner is a year older, and they lost their entire coaching staff. Not to mention the fact that when teams lose the superbowl, they suck the next year. Arizona's D scares me just a little, but it's not a stretch to imagine a win here. 1-0
   
2. Seattle- Again, very winnable. Seattle will be a lot better than they were last year, so it's no gimmie, but the fact that it's at home helps. Whoseyourmomma is a big boost to their offense, but they have no running game. They'll still be able to rush the passer well with Curry, though. 2-0
   
3. @ Minnesota- Gotta say I think this is a loss, and that sucks because I'm going to be at this game. Their run defense is too good for us to go in there depending on the run. It comes down to if the passing game can be competent, because that's where they're vulnerable. We've shut down Peterson before, but now he's at home. 2-1
4. St. Louis- If we don't win this game, the season's over. They are terrible. 3-1
   
5. Atlanta- This could go either way. Their defense is bad, their offense is good. It really depends on if Micheal Turner is still a beast, or, as I imagine, he falls back to earth with a huge thud. I'm marking it as a win. 4-1
   
6. So, at the bye I've got us at 3-2 or maybe 4-1. Looks good, right? It's about to get ugly.
7. @ Houston- If Andre Johnson, Steve Slaton, and Matt Schaub are healthy, we're losing this game by 20 points. Mario Williams gets 5 sacks 4-2
   
8. @ Indianapolis- see above, but add 5 or 10 more points. Replace "Williams" with "Freeny" 4-3
   
9. Tennesee- Man, that defense looked good on Thursday. Their offense isn't great, but Chris Johnson is amazing, and that defense is incredible. I think this game makes 3 straight losses after the bye. 4-4
   
10. Chicago- Again, not very winnable. Cutler, Forte, and a great defense. I've got the Bears going to the superbowl, and I don't think the 49ers as presently constructed can beat this team 4-5
    
11. @ Green Bay- Playing in Wisconsin at the end of November. Need I say more? Not to mention the Packers might go to the superbowl. 4-6
    
12. Jacksonville- A winnable home game! Depends on what their offense looks like at that point, but I don't think it's a stretch to imagine the 9ers pulling this one out. Jags' D has gone downhill lately. 5-6
13. @ Seattle- Yeah, we're not winning this game if they're healthy. I know we've pulled out some amazing upsets there in recent years, but I really see no way this is happening. 5-7
    
14. Arizona- Again, winnable. I think Arizona will be about 6-10 or 7-9 this year. By this time it's very possible Matt Leinart is their starter. 6-7
    
15. @ Philadelphia- do I want to believe Singletary will have more success on the east coast than Nolan? Yes. Do I? No. 6-8
    
16. Detroit- Perfect time for the 49ers to lose to a creampuff at home. I think it's a win, but I'm not that confident. Calvin Johnson is a freaking BEAST. 7-8
    
17. @ St Louis- They're going to be bad, but it's a road game. There may be a playoff spot riding on this game, so it'll be interesting to see how the niners respond. I think they win. 8-8
    

The season will be made or broken in the 5 weeks after the bye. For this team, that is a BRUTAL schedule. I really see 8-8 as the best possible outcome, with 9-7 if we somehow beat Indy or Houston. Fortunately, that could very well be good enough to win the division, but c'mon- this team ain't doin nothing in the playoffs. The only way is if Gore stays healthy, Josh Morgan becomes what we all think he will be, and Vernon Davis turns into an actual threat.

They SHOULD at least be entertaining to watch. Unless they aren't, then it will suck.

Good sense prevails!

Pashos signed, Briggs to the PS. All is once again well in the world. If only it was Pascoe and not Finley on the PS. Oh well.

If Hill gets cut for Crabtree, I'm gonna choke a bitch.

Mike Singletary: Orator for the ages

Excellent job defending his roster selections during his press conference today!

So, Mike, why'd you choose Briggs for the 53-man?

"He's young, he has talent and going forward we just want to see him continue to develop. . . . He's still raw and we just have to work with it"

Hmm, OK, so why didn't Bear make it?

"When you look at Bear, he's a quality young man. I just think for him it's a matter of getting used to the speed of the NFL. Just getting used to seeing guys who are big and fast and coming at you, and you have to block them."

Hmm, well that sounds like a little bit of a contradiction, but OK. What about Kory Sheets?

"I think certainly he did some nice things, but what we wanted to do and keep focus of is we wanted to have the 53 guys who really gave us the best opportunity to win."

Weelll, wouldn't you agree that keeping a young, talented running back on a team whose strategy is to run the ball over 50% of the time on offense would be more valuable than keeping a 9th LB who probably won't see much playing time?

Here's what I'm seeing early on: young offensive player who shows promise but has rough edges: "needs to take some time and let the game slow down. Come back later" Young defensive player who shows promise but has rough edges: "well, we really like what we've seen and we think we can work with him"

Shit.

I don't mean to overreact here, but this is getting into SSDD territory with Mr Singletary. Offense doesn't exist, screw the offense. We'll keep enough guys to field an offense, but we'll keep 7 defensive linemen 9 linebackers, and 5 safeties, at the expense of a fullback and blocking TE, because who needs a blocking tight end in a run-first offense, anyways? Oh, and screw that young, fast, powerful runner. He can't help us win, but a 9th linebacker sure can!

Argh.

Blerg

Final 53 man is set (copied from Matt). Mostly what I thought, but anger-inducing players marked appropriately:

QB (3) - Shaun Hill, Alex Smith, Nate Davis

RB (4) - Frank Gore, Moran Norris, Glen Coffee, Michael Robinson

WR (6) - Isaac Bruce, Josh Morgan, Arnaz Battle, Micheal Spurlock, Brandon Jones, Jason Hill.

TE (2) - Vernon Davis, Delanie Walker

OL (8) - Joe Staley, David Baas, Eric Heitmann, Chilo Rachal, Adam Snyder, Tony Wragge, Barry Sims, Cody Wallace.

DL (7) - Isaac Sopoaga, Aubrayo Franklin, Justin Smith, Kentwan Balmer, Demetric Evans, Ray McDonald, Ricky Jean-Francois.

LB (9) - Manny Lawson, Patrick Willis, Takeo Spikes, Parys Haralson, Jeff Ulbrich, Scott McKillop, Ahmad Brooks, Marques Harris, Diyral Briggs.

CB (5) - Nate Clements, Tarell Brown, Dre' Bly, Shawntae Spencer, Marcus Hudson.

S (5) - Dashon Goldson, Michael Lewis, Mark Roman, Reggie Smith, Curtis Taylor.

ST (4) - Joe Nedney, Andy Lee, Brian Jennings, Allen Rossum.


Not a whole lot of quibbles, but like I mentioned earlier, Kory Sheets should be on this team. I really doubt he'll clear waivers for the PS, so this means we're probably losing him for good. I hope that's not the case, because I think he was in the Ahmad Bradshaw "speed with OMG he's-also-got-power" category.

Why we had to keep Briggs around boggles the mind. Would another team have really claimed him? Really? Over Sheets?? WTF. He would have been a MUCH better candidate for the PS.

Arnaz Battle. Enough said. Thank the lord his spot didn't come at Jason Hill's expense. I would have given his spot to Pascoe. Now we have to go out and find some scrub to be a blocking TE. Pascoe looked like he had a lot of promise, and I think there's a good chance we lose him, too.

Spurlock may lose his spot when Crabtree signs. Or maybe Briggs, or mayyybe Battle, if there is a God who cares about us.

Last one is Hudson- I would have preferred Green, but that's just because I really don't like Marcus Hudson. Not a huge problem with it, but c'mon. Marcus Hudson? Really?

Oh yeah, and WTF is Ulbrich still doing here??? Jeeez, why are we wasting a roster spot on a guy whose only contribution is special teams? I don't see the need for 9 LBs when we only have 2 TEs.

Quick note

Nate Clements, if you can't turn around and face the ball to prevent a 30 yard TD on 3rd fucking down against the other team's FOURTH GODDAMN RECEIVER THEN YOU NEED TO GTFO.

I don't care if it's preseason, he looked like an idiot on that play, and right after he dropped an easy INT, too. Jesus.

I need to take a moment to profess my raging man love for:

Nate Davis

Kory Sheets

Jason Hill


If Arnaz fucking Battle makes the team at the expense of Jason Hill, all of my enthusiasm about Singletary will go out the window.