Sunday, August 26, 2012

Preseason Super Bowls



 Good for you, Denver. It really worked out well for the Saints last year when they decided to make a PRE SEASON game their super bowl. You wanted to come out and look great for a nationally televised game against a team that couldn't care less about you? Mission accomplished...oh but you still lost.

That game was a microcosm of Peyton Manning. Need a guy to light up a field in a game that doesn't mean shit? He's your man! Here's hoping we see these jokers again in the super bowl and show them what a real football team plays like. It was just so obvious that the 49ers were packing it in for this game. They were running the equivalent of what me and my friends do for a weekend game: "Ok Randy, just run out there and I'll throw it to you". The one time the 49ers ran an offensive play with any design whatsoever they torched Denver for 48 yards.

Though to hear the INCREDIBLY over-reactionary media tell it, Peyton Manning won 2 super bowls and an MVP today. HE'S BACK! HE'S BACK! Back to being what, exactly? The guy who will win 14 games every year then lose in his first playoff game? WHOOPEE! This team is much better off without him, and that's not sour grapes. He didn't want to come to a team where winning when it counts was valued more than personal statistics. Good for him. But also F**K him. Keep throwing up those great stat lines in games that don't mean anything, we'll see who's laughing when January rolls around, you stupid phony pig faced moron.

Other than that I thought the game went well. Draft David Akers, everyone.


Ugh

I hope this is because they care about preseason as much as I do, and not because they're reverting to 2010 form, because that S was ugly. What the hell.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

2012 Schedule Preview

January 22, 2012 still leaves a bad taste in the old pie hole. Thanks to several dozen 49ers shortcomings, the loathsome NY Giants stole that championship game and went on to win the goddamn super bowl. Accordingly, perhaps deservedly, those of us who could stomach the telecast were treated to dazed man-child Eli Manning earning his second Super Bowl MVP trophy. This just two weeks after his epic beat down at the hands of the Niners' heroic defense.

I've been avoiding football thanks to that turd of a game, but now with the second worthless preseason game out of the way, I'm finding my way back to slavish homerdom and preparing for the return of the dudes in red and gold. My Sunday Ticket is paid up and ready to go, my basement fridge is stocked, and my faith in Jim Harbaugh's assholish genius is strong. So let's do a schedule preview after the jump.


Saturday, August 11, 2012

Attention Fantasy Football Players:

Draft Randy Moss. Trust me. They are sheltering him for the regular season. Nobody's making a peep about him, they won't be throwing him the ball in any of these games, he's not high up on the depth chart. All of that tells me Harbaugh sees something in him and doesn't want to reveal it just yet. Foolproof theory!

I can't wait for week 3. At the end of the game, with Harbaugh running out the clock on the 1, the Vikings announcers suggested he was doing that because "when we're (they refer to the Vikings as "we" and "us") 2-0 and they're playing us at home they don't want us remembering them running the score up." Hey morons, your team was 3-13 last year. What exactly are you going to do about it WHEN the 49ers run the score up on your sorry asses on your home field? I'll be in attendance and I'm very much looking forward to avenging what I had to deal with the last time the 49ers played a game there. I cannot wait. Something along the lines of the 48-3 beatdown of Tampa last year will do fine. God those announcers were awful.

Looks like the backfield is gonna be good. I like having 3 NFL quality backs with the wrinkle of James thrown in there. Also Kapernick, wow. Dude's got jets. Could be very interesting. And Jenkins looked like he belongs in the league, really nice hands.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Good God

I'm stuck listening to the Vikings' radio announcers on this preseason TV broadcast....If they aren't the most insufferable homers in the league I'm not sure who is. They are acting like this is the Super Bowl.

I hope your viewing experiences are better.

Monday, August 6, 2012

In case you missed it


Sportsfan - FULL version from mattware on Vimeo.

A really awesome video. Seeing as how it was for an editing class, it could have been a bit better in that area, but still fantastic. 3rd and 3! How did I not notice that before??

Friday, August 3, 2012

I, for one, Welcome Our Benevolent, Ex-Patriot Overlord.


Oh yes, yes I do. 

Welcome to the new football year! After 4 years I figured I should slap a new coat of paint on the site's layout. I am a moron when it comes to this stuff. And it feels like Blogger's technology is about 200 years behind currently accepted blogging standards. However, due to said moron-ness, I don't know how to move to another site. Oh well. 

As for the title of the post- after an initial period of skepticism, color me officially excited for the Randy Moss (1 year) era. He showed after his exile in Oakland that his talent is capable of long periods of hibernation until he finds a situation he likes, at which point it awakens and devours all who approach it. Something like that anyways. 

The 49ers haven't had a group of receivers that looked this good in the preseason since, what, 2001? Even then the team had Owens... and a whole lot of nothing else. Since that time it's been a slog through PJ Flecks, Darrell Jacksons, and Isaac Bruces. Remember when we were watching Brett Swain play meaningful snaps in playoff games? Even during the preseason last year our hopes rested on Braylon Edwards, a guy with NFL production that could hardly be called noteworthy (now excuse me while I go delete the excited posts hailing Edwards as the next Jerry Rice). 

The front office took one look at that playoff roster and said "yeah, we are never ever letting BRETT SWAIN take another snap in an NFC Championship game unless we're winning by 45". The result is Moss, Manningham, and AJ Jenkins. 2 of those 3 are proven, NFL-quality starting receivers. Moss, if he's still got anything left, is the kind of player that completely transforms what an offense can do. When's the last time we said that about a 49ers wide receiver? They haven't had a 1000 yard receiver in 8 years. Last year was about ending the playoff drought, this year my crusade is to get the team a 1000 yard receiver. In this day and age of offensive football, it seems impossible that a team has gone that long without one. 

In fact, this was the part where I was going to list off the teams who have had a WR with a 1000 yard season since 2003, and then point and laugh at the 49ers in comparison, so I did some research. Guess what? Only ONE NFL team has not had at least 1 1000 yard season from a WR since 2003. Guess who! That stunned me. The goddamn BUFFALO BILLS have had FIVE! Even the Raiders!! I think in a few years, with the context of history, people are going to look back on the 2003-2010 49ers as some kind of bizarro dynasty. The team that spent 20 years setting the standard for the way NFL teams should be organized followed it up by showing us the exact wrong way to do things for nearly a decade.

As an aside, do you know what the team's point differential was during the Mike Nolan era? -507! In 3 1/2 years!!! That inspired me to do more research. Since the 1970 merger, only the 49ers, Raiders, and Oilers/Titans have had 4 straight seasons with a  point differential of -100 or worse. It's unbelievable how bad this team was. 

All this is a long way of saying that I love the people running this team right now. They know how weak the WRs were last year, and how weak they've been for the last 10. They had a clear goal to get better at that position, and boy did they ever. It looks like they might have the offense to match their considerable defensive talent. 

This is the best time of year! Glad to be back and hopefully you guys check in every once in awhile. It's fun going into a season with expectations that are high for legitimate reasons.