Thoughts on the meaningless game

Just now going through tonight's game. Impressions:

LOL VIKINGS

Colin Kaepernick.

Quinton Patton, in his first game, now has 4 more catches and 1 more TD than AJ Jenkins had as a rookie. Patton was a 4th rounder, Jenkins was a 1st. I never want to be an NFL personnel man. For whatever it's worth, the guy looks like a real NFL WR. It would be very interesting if he turns out to be good. We have no way of knowing, since he just now is able to actually catch passes. He gets a 1st down and a TD in his first game action, that's pretty encouraging.

Marlon Moore appears like he belongs in the NFL. My guess is him, Boldin, and Collie are the first 3 on the field on opening day. Maybe Patton will work his way in there, too.

Defense. Justin Smith says "what triceps?"

LOL VIKINGS

Again, Colin Kaepernick. Watching the comparison between him and Ponder just reminds me how limited the 49ers were with Alex Smith. Comparing Ponder to Smith is not fair, because Smith is probably much better, but the Vikings' offense is clearly limited because of Ponder's skill set. He cannot throw deep with any kind of accuracy (sound familiar?), and the short throws are an adventure at times.

The 49ers can do whatever the hell they want. No read-option? No problem, the guy can still pick you apart with throws to any part of the field. Add in the running aspect and gawd dayum, the guy is unstoppable. I'm the biggest Smith defender in the world, but seeing the full potential of this offense realized, it's obvious that Smith was holding it back pretty substantially.

It's really fun to see the 49ers' backups playing against the other team's starters so much. So much talent everywhere.

Lavelle Hawkins is a moron. Great play, but you removed your helmet? Really?

I think the worst thing about Ponder for the Vikings is that his draft pedigree and playoff berth last year virtually guarantee that the Vikings will stick with him for too long before realizing that he will never win a superbowl. I'm so glad the 49ers have a real QB now. So so glad.

I'm not sure if LMJ will be anything like the kind of player he was in college, but I absolutely love the way the guy shifts around and makes 0 or negative yard runs into positive plays. I haven't seen a lot of guys do it as well as he can.

Jon Baldwin already with more catches than the guy he was traded for, with a year less experience.

I like how the Vikings were patting themselves on the back after their starters scored a TD against 3rd stringers who will not be playing in 2 weeks. Lol Vikings.

Vance McDonald strikes me as the kind of guy I would not want to get in the way of.

This just in: this team is really really good. Can't wait for the real games.

Whoa!

WHOA!

no, really, WHOAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

     AJ, we hardly knew ye. Holy S. I guess I shouldn't be this shocked, but here we are, I'm dumbfounded. I figured the guy just needed a little more time to figure stuff out, but BOOM goes the Baalke and he is gone. That's incredible.


     This team hasn't had much success drafting in that area of the first round, first Balmer and now this guy. Both of them were traded within in a year and a half of being selected. That's not really a good sign for a first round pick. If the front office is willing to just completely ship the guy out of town, what does that say about his prospects? I say that for both Jenkins and Baldwin. I have no idea what to think about the trade, other than "GO JON BALDWIN!"

     My only opinion on Baldwin is that I friggen loved that guy in Madden. I always traded for him immediately because of his size and speed. If those things are real in real life, he could be real interesting. He's definitely big and strong. He struggles to catch the ball, though, which isn't a great quality in a WR. I'll say this though- he is the anti AJ Jenkins. That's what makes this trade interesting. He's 6'4, 230 lbs. AJ Jenkins is 6', 190. If Baldwin can cure the dropsies, then the 49ers will truly have 2 WRs on the outside who can stick it to Seattle and their holding, roid-infested DBs.

     Once again, WHOA. This is kind of crazy. I kind of love the deal at first blush, but we'll see. The Chiefs and 49ers must be members of the mutual admiration society with the way they swap players and picks.

Every one of these articles is fabulous

but this one gave me particular joy. Drew is a Vikings fan, so he put an especially large amount of verve and gusto into this article. My favorite line:

Any time he [Rodgers] suddenly morphs into an inaccurate gimp in the playoffs, he makes the exact same face: He kind of stares around, as if to say THE BATTERIES IN THIS OFFENSE AREN’T WORKING! Then he stares at the ground. I’m looking forward to seeing that the next time they play the 49ers.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. We're that team again, everyone. Yesssssssss.

Colin Kaepernick is going to throw for 2 hundred billion yards

"Colin has come a long way. Last year, when he first got the starting job, we'd be back at practice and he'd just keep overthrowing me," said Davis said, who caught a team-high seven passes during 11-on-11 work. "I'd be running as fast as I possibly could, and Colin just kept overthrowing me.
"Now, we get out there and it's like night and day. He's putting balls right there. Man, he's come a long way. I'm very impressed with Colin right now."

     That's Vernon Davis talking. Last year, when he was taking the league by storm, he was underperforming in practice. Well, maybe not "underperforming", but was not as accurate perhaps as one would like one's starting quarterback to be. I can't look at how he played last year, combine that with the positively GLOWING reports we've read about him all off-season, and come away with any impression other than that he is going to absolutely friggen explode this year.

     This is hyperbole, I admit, but he is what people always wanted Mike Vick to be. Not as transcendent of an athlete, maybe, but he is so athletic that you have to fear that on every single play. The catch is that he can throw the ball on par with the Rodgerses and Breeses and Bradeys of the world. 40 yard strikes that are right on target, and, if practice reports are to be believed, he's now able to throw touch passes with incredible accuracy. I'm trying to be restrained here, because my unbridled optimism has led to many disappointments in the past. That said, I can't honestly look at the facts as they have been presented and come away with any impression other than this: Colin Kaepernick is a BAMF and is going to set the league on fire...again.

Pretty glad I have him in my keeper league... We'll be seeing a lot more of this:

AJ Jenkins....*shakes head*

     From that same article: 

The only receivers who did not catch passes were Lavelle Hawkins and A.J. Jenkins. Hawkins had a reception for the scout-team offense in a 7-on-7 drill. Jenkins, who appeared to take fewer reps than he did during the first two weeks of practices, did not catch a pass on the day. He caught only one pass in Sunday's practice.

     Ugh.

Oh Hey, Football!

     Wow, that was ugly. The starters looked great, let's just hope nobody on the offensive line goes down and that Kaepernick continues to slide and stay healthy all season because dear god Colt McCoy please no.

     The WR situation is a total mess. If Collie is healthy, it'll be him, Boldin, and ? Hopefully AJ Jenkins decided to remember he's getting paid to play football and shows up at some point. Otherwise, the pickings are really really slim behind Boldin and Davis.

   

     If I were a betting man, I'd go lay some cash on KC to beat Denver for the division. I bet you'd get pretty good odds, and I think it's going to happen. Alex looked positively Utah-ian in his one drive, led them right down the field doing what he does best and they punched it in easily. I know it's preseason, I know it's the Saints defense, yes yes yes.

     I'm not crazy, though. The Chiefs had 6 Pro Bowl players last year (Only one was an injury replacement). For comparison, the 49ers had 9. The Chiefs have a lot of talent, and now they have a quarterback who matches Andy Reid's style perfectly. Everyone loves to bash Andy Reid, but the guy knows his way around an offense. Pick the Chiefs this year and win. We saw this same EXACT THING happen in SF when Harbaugh took over.

   

This won't happen

but if the 49ers trade up and select Tavon Austin, I will run naked screaming through the snow that is still on the ground where I live.

Schedule

So the 2013 schedule is out. One thing jumped out at me: the 49ers have exactly 2 games starting at 10 AM Pacific time. 5 Prime-time games, and only 2 games scheduled on the eastern seaboard add up to 14 games starting either at night or at a normal time. That is fantastic. Looking at the strength of the opponents never means anything at this time of year, but seeing that only 2 of their games are starting early is something that actually makes a difference. Oh, and those 2 early starts are against the Jags and Bucs. Again, maybe those teams will be better this season, but I'd certainly rather that than, say, the Pats and Falcons or something.

Rooting for a good team pays off sometimes.

Off-season check in vol 1- The One Where I Bitch About the Media (again)

Hey guys, I don't know if you've heard, but there's an ARMS RACE IN THE NFC WEST!! It's NUCLEAR!

Here's what I want to know: do these guys all get together in a room and decide on what the narrative is going to be? Do they not know that doing a simple google search for "NFC West arms race" would return hits from websites spanning the US from Seattle to LA to Florida to Minnesota to New York? Do they not care? Are they really that lazy?

If I was getting paid to write, I would really feel an obligation to give my readers their money's worth. I would feel like I needed to approach a story from an angle that few people thought of. What I wouldn't do write something that a person could read literally ANYWHERE ELSE on the internet, or see on any channel on TV, or in any newspaper. What's the point? Why write anything at all if you're going to write the exact same story that everyone else has already thought of?

I'm probably breaking my own rule here: anyone who's not *in* the media makes hay bashing the way the media operates. I may not be bringing anything new to the table with this argument, but I'm not getting PAID TO WRITE ABOUT THIS. And yet my style mimics those who are. If I were a musician, and some dummy in the middle of North Dakota could sit at his laptop and imitate me to the note, that would be slightly unsettling. That's not the case, though. As badly as I want to, I can't sound as good as Ben Gibbard, because he's more talented than I am. I don't feel like any writer writing any article on the NFC West "arms race" is doing something that I couldn't do. And I'm a moron. That's really frustrating.

Apart from the fact that they're all writing the same thing, there's also the little matter of that same thing being WRONG. Every. Single. Year. How many teams who participate in "arms races" in the off-season win Super Bowls? Or even make the playoffs? Let's quickly calculate the big off-season spenders in Free Agency the last few years:

2012: Bills. Bills record last season: 6-10 (missed playoffs)

2011: Eagles. We know how that went: 8-8 (missed playoffs)

2010: Bears, Dolphins. Records that season: 11-5 (lost in NFC Champ), 7-9 (missed playoffs)\

2009: Redskins. Record: 4-12 (missed playoffs)

1 playoff team in the last 4 years. That Bears team was the outlier. That's what facts tell us. But you know what the stories were in each of those off-seasons? There was no restraint to be found. Each of those big-spending teams were automatic division-winners, Super Bowl favorites.

At what point does big spending cease to be a story? Is there any less of a story in criticizing these moves? Why is there no reasonable voice out in the mainstream saying "yes, this team is spending a lot of money and is getting players that at first glance make their team a lot better, but there is very little track record of this strategy actually working in recent history". I would find that interesting if I didn't already know it. Maybe it would temper my expectations if I were a fan of a team that was free spending. Maybe it would make me a little more well-informed about the decisions I want my team making.

This season the NFL has finally figured it out- Super Bowls are not won by writing big checks in February. The Dolphins and Vikings are going to find that out the hard way- the vast majority of the NFL is already on board with this, but still the stories persist. The Seahawks and 49ers are extremely smart, competitive teams who are making very very good decisions this season- adding value while not sacrificing their long-term outlook.

That would be an interesting story. But what is the story? "IT'S AN ARMS RACE! WOW LOOK SHINY SHINY TOYS WOW!!!". The media collectively is the dog from "Up", unable to focus on anything but the simplest angle to any story. Not willing to burn a single calorie to approach the story from a different viewpoint. Trading for Anquan Boldin isn't a smart move that gives the 49ers what they were missing last season, it's a response to the Seahawks getting Harvin. The 49ers don't care about getting better, they care about one-upping their rival. The Seahawks only signed Winfield because the 49ers got Nnamdi. It's certainly not because they want to make their defensive backfield one of the best in the league. Let's be sure to not analyze this from a position that make sense, but rather from one that makes us look like slobbering morons who are completely incapable of grasping even the simplest of strategic outlooks.

The whole thing makes me sick. It makes following sports a chore: you have to mute ESPN or NFLN for the segments between news and highlights because they are so loud wrong all the time. There is no value to their opinions. You have to slog through mountains of crap on the internet to find the guys who don't interject the bull crap narratives into everything they write. Consider this post my Peter Finch rant. I'm tired of this crap.

All that said, Nnamdi was a great signing. Pretty excited about him.

Wahooooooo!

I'm sad to see Alex go, but we all knew he wasn't coming back. I can't believe they got basically another 1st rounder for him plus another high-ish pick next season barring some kind of injury.

It's a great deal for both sides. The niners save money, give Alex a place where he'll be the unquestioned starter, and gain unbelievable flexibility in the draft this season while getting a jump start on next year.

The chiefs get the perfect Andy Reid QB, someone who is not only more experienced but also better than anyone in this draft. I'm extremely excited to see Alex play in an Andy Reid offense. I'll be watching every single chiefs game next year.

An absolutely perfect sports trade- everyone involved benefits. This draft is going to be really fun.

They threw a fade

The most important play of their season was a pass that works maybe 15% of the time, a pass that they have not successfully completed even one time with Colin Kaepernick at QB. The Oline got blown up, yeah. But they had their best WR running a route that works 15% of the time that they have never completed. I will never get over that.

Forget the unbelievably stupid penalties that both cost them a first down on the first drive of the game and handed Baltimore the (deciding) extra 4 points after they had stopped them on 3rd down. Forget the fumble by James trying to turn a 0 yard gain into a 1 yard gain. Forget the HORRENDOUS interception, a pass that never should have been thrown and had no chance to be completed even if thrown perfectly. Forget the insane luck the Ravens had in the first half on plays like the blind-folded bomb to Boldin. Forget the inexcusable 108 kick yard return when they desperately needed a stop.

Forget all of that. Even with all of that, they had a chance to win the superbowl and THEY THREW A GODDAMN FADE PASS. I really don't know if I will ever forgive them for that, I know I will never forget it. That's the Kyle Williams play of this season. They threw a fade.

The worst thing about this game is I feel like the 49ers are better but couldn't get out of their own way. The penalties and turnovers were not forced, they were the kinds of things crappy teams do. I didn't get it. Maybe it was just the enormity of the stage or something, it was the worst possible time for them to decide to play like it was week 3 in Minnesota.

I give credit to the Ravens, they made plays when they had to, but I feel like the 49ers should have won that game. This offseason is going to really suck.