Where exactly were these Colts 2 weeks ago?

The Seahawks are a good team, but they are not this good. How in the hell are all these breaks going their way? Good lord. They can't have the other team hand them wins all season, right?

Same Old Rams

     I'm not a huge fan of Thursday Night Football. All 4 games this year have already been terrible to watch, and thinking back on it- can you think of ANY TNF game that has been good since they started doing this like 6 years ago? They've all been terrible. Of course they are- teams have 3 days to prepare and heal after beating the hell out of themselves on Sundays. The Rams had to travel home from Dallas and prepare for the 49ers in 3 days. That's ridiculous.

     But I will say this- it sure is nice to have a quick turnaround after a game like the 49ers had on Sunday. One of my favorite things about baseball is you get that immediacy- even if you lose 15-2, you get another chance the very next day to wipe that feeling away. The Colts loss really pissed me off. That was a terrible performance against a middling-at-best team, which is why I was so happy to have a nice quick break before being able to see if they'd be able to bounce back.

     Nothing like a game against the Rams to bounce back. Wow, they are bad. Sam Bradford is really bad. They have no running game, sure, but wow he is bad. That first scoring drive of theirs was an easy TD that he simply missed. Any halfway decent QB would have jumped all over the 49ers in the first quarter, when SF was still playing like it was in Seattle. I'm not sure what the hell was wrong with them for those 9 quarters, they looked disjointed and lost on both sides of the ball, not qualities we are used to seeing from a Harbaugh team. The penalties are also getting completely ludicrous.

     Colin Kaepernick looked positively Alex Smithian. If that's what it takes for them to be successful, so be it. It would be fun to be the kind of team that throws for 400 yards every week, but apparently they can't win that way. Maybe it's the lack of weapons, or maybe their style of offense just can't survive when it throws the ball that much- whatever it is, it doesn't work. They have to run for 200 yards a game to be successful, and fortunately they have a team set up to do just that.

     All in all a very nice win, but I think the "back on track" nonsense is just that- it was a win over a marginal team who had a short week with travel. Nice to see, no reason to do cartwheels just yet. There are still a lot of issues with this team that need fixing.

Oh yeah, and I hope Aldon Smith gets better for his sake. It would be nice to see him on the field again, but good lord dude- take care of yourself.

15-1 a very real possibility

No really, look at the remaining schedule. Maybe at New Orleans is tough? Maybe at Washington? Other than that it's all home games and bad teams. Obviously anything can happen (like losing to the rams somehow), but it's set up nicely. It starts this week with a home game against an obviously inferior opponent. The 49ers should win this game easily. If they don't, we should start worrying.

The Colts were one of the softest 11-5 teams you'll ever see last season. They almost lost at home to the Raiders. Andrew Luck lives up to his last name- he's obviously a very good player, but holy S does he get away with a lot of terrible decisions at times.


When you combine the talent disparity and the 49ers' terrible showing last week, and their undefeated record following losses in the Harbaugh era (7-0), this should be a win, and should be the start of a run that will make us quickly forget that S fest last week.

Well

Sums it up. I hope Seattle enjoys it, I remember when the 49ers had their super bowl in week 2. Those days sucked. 8-0 at home, 2-6 on the road. What a great team.

The Twelfth Man is the Architect

Did you know the 2013 Carolina Panthers have the best defense in the NFL? If you skimmed any 49ers-Seahawks related comment sections this past week, you'd certainly know. You'd have heard Seattle stepped up when it counted, using their superior talent to barely pull out a touchdown against the relentlessly awesome, all-time great Carolina Panthers defense.

You'd also know December 23, 2012 marked the greatest victory in NFL history. A victory so epic, so enduring, that Seahawks fans are physically unable to resist mentioning it. Over and over.

You'd also know CenturyLink Field is home to the greatest and loudest fans ever. Fans so passionate, they scream during pregame warmups, the national anthem, even halftime. They are LOUD. And mind you, it totally has nothing to do with a clamshell shaped stadium obviously designed to amplify crowd noise to unnatural and inhumane levels. Nothing at all to do with a design that directs and multiplies crowd noise directly to the field.

It's all those amazing Seattle fans who love football and fluorescents.

So we know going in the Niners will call a timeout early in the game, and the Twelfth Assholes will go apeshit, and then there will be a delay of game, and those fuckers will get naked and start blowing each other in the stands, then there will be a false start, and the collective orgasm and self-congratulations will explode your TV set and kill any unfortunate 49ers fan in the stands.

Know this: referees do not call penalties on Seattle at home. At least meaningful ones. There may be an 'excessive celebration' penalty assessed on a touchdown, or a 'too many men on the field' on a field goal attempt that won't matter, but those holds that spring Marshawn Lynch for an early TD, those tackles before the ball gets there in the secondary, they will be ignored.

Now that you know this, you can watch the game in a less agitated state. Because if there is one thing the Twelfth Cocksucker succeeded doing, it's scaring the zebras. 

As Expected

Shocking:

The NFL now says it was the Packers, not the 49ers, who benefitted from the officials’ mistake on the play, because Staley shouldn’t have been flagged in the first place. The league office reviewed the play and determined that while Matthews was rightly called for a late hit on 49ers quarterbackColin Kaepernick, the official who threw the flag on Staley for getting in Matthews’ face after running over to protect Kaepernick should not have done so.

     Wait, so protecting your team's future and getting punched in the face to do so is *not* a punishable offense? NO WAY. Once again, ignorant Packers fans choose to cling to some ridiculous notion that the refs have it in for them when in actuality THEY WERE HELPED AFTER THEIR GUY CHEAP-SHOTTED SOMEBODY. None of this even matters, but it's nice that this "controversy" is put to bed so quickly and easily. GD I'm glad that was a win yesterday.

   

Oh my god

Oh my god. Oh my god.

Oh my god.
OH MY GOD

OH
MY




GOD.

Guys, I'm really worried about the passing game. I mean, it's Anquan Boldin and nobody else, MIRITE?! (LOL ME)


400 yards. 400 effing passing yards from scrimmage and 3 touchdowns. With no running game, and suspect defense (at times). Stupid penalties. A seeming inability to run a goddamn play within 25 seconds at least twice per drive. Still, 400 yards and 3 touchdowns.

THE 49ERS HAVE AN NFL QUARTERBACK. One who is top 5. One who will laugh in your face if you try to keep him from running, and then WILL THROW FOR 400 YARDS AND 3 TOUCHDOWNS. One who will make an Aaron Rodgers insane stat line look pedestrian.

There's plenty of other things to talk about from that game, but F all of those things. 400 passing yards and 3 Touchdowns. We get to watch a real offense with a dynamic threat running it who everyone is going to be pissing their pants over trying to defend.

Was anyone worried after Lacy's score? Really? Deep down? I was not. My only question was "after CK gets a TD on the next drive, will the defense be able to hold?". It was not in doubt. This offense is GD magic. Amazing.

400 yards and 3 passing touchdowns.

When can I start getting excited without being a moron?

     Quinton Patton in the only 2 games he's played: 6 catches, 80 yards, 2 TDs. That TD tonight was ridiculous, how many 49ers WRs have made that play recently, preseason or no?

     I know it's stupid and ridiculous, but I'm already completely on board with this guy. When a dude just shows up and instantly provides offense, it catches my attention. I used to spend a lot of time defending guys who never showed anything because they had potential, which was never realized. This guy shows up and IMMEDIATELY shows what he can do. I love it. I'm in the tank completely. Much much crazier things have happened than 4th rounders being instant success stories.

     It's also nice to see the starting offense just march right down the field as per usual. Oh, and the defense still kicks ass, even the guys who will be cut in 2 days.

53 Man

I remember doing this on the board millions of years ago, and I'm recovering from surgery, board, and a huge nerd, so I figured it would be fun to try again:

Tolzien getting released is a little surprising, but he will be back on the practice squad. I think he was viewed as the least likely QB to be claimed by someone else. Wallace is there for depth, I have a hard time imagining he will make the team unless McCoy is traded. If that happens, maybe they will just go all athletic at QB. Daniels looks like a really interesting backup. He's shown a little too much to just let go. 

At WR it's either Collie or Hall for that 6th spot, I have a feeling they will choose Collie just because of experience, but he played hardly at all last night, so I could be wrong about that. The 7th WR should be Osgood, I forgot to add him in. He will play special teams almost exclusively. 

I think the rest kind of speak for themselves, I would be surprised if any of these guys don't make the team. Maybe Skuta gets replaced by someone else, and the same could happen with Dahl, but overall I think that roster looks good. Even the backups are solid almost across the board. And the guys in bold denote who could also play on special teams. 

Thoughts on the meaningless game

Just now going through tonight's game. Impressions:

LOL VIKINGS

Colin Kaepernick.

Quinton Patton, in his first game, now has 4 more catches and 1 more TD than AJ Jenkins had as a rookie. Patton was a 4th rounder, Jenkins was a 1st. I never want to be an NFL personnel man. For whatever it's worth, the guy looks like a real NFL WR. It would be very interesting if he turns out to be good. We have no way of knowing, since he just now is able to actually catch passes. He gets a 1st down and a TD in his first game action, that's pretty encouraging.

Marlon Moore appears like he belongs in the NFL. My guess is him, Boldin, and Collie are the first 3 on the field on opening day. Maybe Patton will work his way in there, too.

Defense. Justin Smith says "what triceps?"

LOL VIKINGS

Again, Colin Kaepernick. Watching the comparison between him and Ponder just reminds me how limited the 49ers were with Alex Smith. Comparing Ponder to Smith is not fair, because Smith is probably much better, but the Vikings' offense is clearly limited because of Ponder's skill set. He cannot throw deep with any kind of accuracy (sound familiar?), and the short throws are an adventure at times.

The 49ers can do whatever the hell they want. No read-option? No problem, the guy can still pick you apart with throws to any part of the field. Add in the running aspect and gawd dayum, the guy is unstoppable. I'm the biggest Smith defender in the world, but seeing the full potential of this offense realized, it's obvious that Smith was holding it back pretty substantially.

It's really fun to see the 49ers' backups playing against the other team's starters so much. So much talent everywhere.

Lavelle Hawkins is a moron. Great play, but you removed your helmet? Really?

I think the worst thing about Ponder for the Vikings is that his draft pedigree and playoff berth last year virtually guarantee that the Vikings will stick with him for too long before realizing that he will never win a superbowl. I'm so glad the 49ers have a real QB now. So so glad.

I'm not sure if LMJ will be anything like the kind of player he was in college, but I absolutely love the way the guy shifts around and makes 0 or negative yard runs into positive plays. I haven't seen a lot of guys do it as well as he can.

Jon Baldwin already with more catches than the guy he was traded for, with a year less experience.

I like how the Vikings were patting themselves on the back after their starters scored a TD against 3rd stringers who will not be playing in 2 weeks. Lol Vikings.

Vance McDonald strikes me as the kind of guy I would not want to get in the way of.

This just in: this team is really really good. Can't wait for the real games.