That Offense

     Look, I don't take wins for granted. None of us who were around for the truly lean times do. From 2003-2010, they won 3 games in a row only once. Hell, in those 8 seasons they only won 46 games total, or 5.7 per season. So when they win 3 games in a row by double digits, I shouldn't be complaining. But allow me to complain.

     First of all, before we get too excited- who have they beaten? 3 really bad teams (2 at home), all 3 of which have had terrible quarterback play this season. This stretch of games has put them in positive territory in turnover margin, but is that a function of good defense, or really really bad play from the other guys? Both Schaub and Palmer looked like they don't even belong in the league. Truly abysmal. Again- the win is nice. A double-digit win over a division foe is great, but excuse me for thinking that this formula may not work against a team with a real NFL quarterback.

     Second, I know style points don't matter, but what on earth is wrong with Colin Kaepernick? His stat line has been terrible, but the wins excuse that. What I'm worried about is the way he LOOKS. Flustered, uncomfortable, not able to run, throwing wildly off his back foot, stuttering around with no set drop or rhythm. He's completely different from what we saw last year. Is that down to the guys who are missing? I think most QBs (especially second-year guys with like 15 career starts) could be excused being uncomfortable when they lose their 2 best receivers from a year ago. If this improves when Crabtree and Manningham come back, then I'll know I'm just spouting crazy talk. I can't help but think that SOMETHING is wrong, though.

     Maybe defenses have figured him out, or maybe that injury of his really is worse than they are letting on. When you look at the way he moves around, you'd definitely not be crazy to think something is keeping him from being truly comfortable. The Cardinals certainly aren't doormats when it comes to defense, so Gore not being totally effective is explainable. He did what he needs to do for them to be successful, and by the end they were sufficiently worn down. The passing attack is what worries me, though. They have to improve to beat better teams. Fortunately they don't have many "better teams" in front of them at this point. I hope I'm just worrying over nothing.

     One thing I loved: this is one of the only games I remember where Vernon truly looked like an ELITE tight end. He's had big games before, but I don't remember him making the kind of catches he made in this one. The second TD was unbelievable and the play on the sideline where he reached up and behind himself to make the catch, then got both feet in bounds? Totally amazing. Very fun to watch.

     I don't mean to denigrate the win, on the whole they played good and I'll take it, but since the opener the offense has been really herky-jerky and I very much hope the healthy return of players will improve that. The team that played today isn't going to beat Manning or Brees.

Huh

     The 49ers have totally Seahawks-ed their last 2 games. Look at the stat line, then look at the final scores. They don't seem compatible. I'm not real sure how these games have ended up being blowouts, but I guess the opposing quarterbacks being completely incompetent helps? Maybe that's also attributable to the defense- I can't tell if the defense is stepping up in the face of some pretty bad injuries, or if the other teams have just been that bad. Colin Kaepernick is not rewarding my faith that he was going to be a fantasy superstar this season.

     Think about who the team is playing without: Willis, A. Smith, Manningham, Crabtree. Think of how many teams would be decimated by those kinds of injuries. The 49ers have out-scored their opponents 69-14 without those guys, and it certainly ain't in the way I thought they would be doing it earlier in the season. They are definitely borrowing heavily from the 2011 playbook, and they're doing it much more effectively. The penalties are almost completely eliminated, they actually had 3 timeouts at the end of each half tonight (a small but important victory for them), and no turnovers! They went through an entire game without turning the ball over. Finally.

     Keep that formula up through the very very easy stretch of schedule coming up, and I will have no issues with the offense not being the fantasy point machine I thought it was going to be. If they get to that Seahawks game one game down or even tied, they are in very very good position. They are not pretty to watch, but this is the brand of play that made the successful to begin with, so I'm totally cool if they want to go back to it. 12-4 is back in play if they keep looking like this.

Today is already a win

The Seabags have lost, which was extremely satisfying and awesome because dear lord I hate them, and Tony Romo has just LOL CHOKED a game away at a key moment. Wins all the way around, if the 49ers can stop sucking and beat an overrated Texans team at home, then that would just be gravy. By all rights San Francisco should win this game, but of course there's no Willis, and we have no idea what to expect out of them this season.

That Broncos/Cowboys game was incredible. That's an example of why the 49ers need to get their offense on track- it's going to be pretty hard to grind out victories against a team like the Broncos if their passing attack is working well. You have to keep pace with them and not screw up. Dallas almost did it, but then Tony Romo. SF will not be able to match them with the way they've played recently, probably not even with the 2011 formula. They need to score 30 or 40. Hopefully Crabs and Manningham getting back will open things up. Just limp along until that point and things should be OK.

Where exactly were these Colts 2 weeks ago?

The Seahawks are a good team, but they are not this good. How in the hell are all these breaks going their way? Good lord. They can't have the other team hand them wins all season, right?

Same Old Rams

     I'm not a huge fan of Thursday Night Football. All 4 games this year have already been terrible to watch, and thinking back on it- can you think of ANY TNF game that has been good since they started doing this like 6 years ago? They've all been terrible. Of course they are- teams have 3 days to prepare and heal after beating the hell out of themselves on Sundays. The Rams had to travel home from Dallas and prepare for the 49ers in 3 days. That's ridiculous.

     But I will say this- it sure is nice to have a quick turnaround after a game like the 49ers had on Sunday. One of my favorite things about baseball is you get that immediacy- even if you lose 15-2, you get another chance the very next day to wipe that feeling away. The Colts loss really pissed me off. That was a terrible performance against a middling-at-best team, which is why I was so happy to have a nice quick break before being able to see if they'd be able to bounce back.

     Nothing like a game against the Rams to bounce back. Wow, they are bad. Sam Bradford is really bad. They have no running game, sure, but wow he is bad. That first scoring drive of theirs was an easy TD that he simply missed. Any halfway decent QB would have jumped all over the 49ers in the first quarter, when SF was still playing like it was in Seattle. I'm not sure what the hell was wrong with them for those 9 quarters, they looked disjointed and lost on both sides of the ball, not qualities we are used to seeing from a Harbaugh team. The penalties are also getting completely ludicrous.

     Colin Kaepernick looked positively Alex Smithian. If that's what it takes for them to be successful, so be it. It would be fun to be the kind of team that throws for 400 yards every week, but apparently they can't win that way. Maybe it's the lack of weapons, or maybe their style of offense just can't survive when it throws the ball that much- whatever it is, it doesn't work. They have to run for 200 yards a game to be successful, and fortunately they have a team set up to do just that.

     All in all a very nice win, but I think the "back on track" nonsense is just that- it was a win over a marginal team who had a short week with travel. Nice to see, no reason to do cartwheels just yet. There are still a lot of issues with this team that need fixing.

Oh yeah, and I hope Aldon Smith gets better for his sake. It would be nice to see him on the field again, but good lord dude- take care of yourself.

15-1 a very real possibility

No really, look at the remaining schedule. Maybe at New Orleans is tough? Maybe at Washington? Other than that it's all home games and bad teams. Obviously anything can happen (like losing to the rams somehow), but it's set up nicely. It starts this week with a home game against an obviously inferior opponent. The 49ers should win this game easily. If they don't, we should start worrying.

The Colts were one of the softest 11-5 teams you'll ever see last season. They almost lost at home to the Raiders. Andrew Luck lives up to his last name- he's obviously a very good player, but holy S does he get away with a lot of terrible decisions at times.


When you combine the talent disparity and the 49ers' terrible showing last week, and their undefeated record following losses in the Harbaugh era (7-0), this should be a win, and should be the start of a run that will make us quickly forget that S fest last week.

Well

Sums it up. I hope Seattle enjoys it, I remember when the 49ers had their super bowl in week 2. Those days sucked. 8-0 at home, 2-6 on the road. What a great team.

The Twelfth Man is the Architect

Did you know the 2013 Carolina Panthers have the best defense in the NFL? If you skimmed any 49ers-Seahawks related comment sections this past week, you'd certainly know. You'd have heard Seattle stepped up when it counted, using their superior talent to barely pull out a touchdown against the relentlessly awesome, all-time great Carolina Panthers defense.

You'd also know December 23, 2012 marked the greatest victory in NFL history. A victory so epic, so enduring, that Seahawks fans are physically unable to resist mentioning it. Over and over.

You'd also know CenturyLink Field is home to the greatest and loudest fans ever. Fans so passionate, they scream during pregame warmups, the national anthem, even halftime. They are LOUD. And mind you, it totally has nothing to do with a clamshell shaped stadium obviously designed to amplify crowd noise to unnatural and inhumane levels. Nothing at all to do with a design that directs and multiplies crowd noise directly to the field.

It's all those amazing Seattle fans who love football and fluorescents.

So we know going in the Niners will call a timeout early in the game, and the Twelfth Assholes will go apeshit, and then there will be a delay of game, and those fuckers will get naked and start blowing each other in the stands, then there will be a false start, and the collective orgasm and self-congratulations will explode your TV set and kill any unfortunate 49ers fan in the stands.

Know this: referees do not call penalties on Seattle at home. At least meaningful ones. There may be an 'excessive celebration' penalty assessed on a touchdown, or a 'too many men on the field' on a field goal attempt that won't matter, but those holds that spring Marshawn Lynch for an early TD, those tackles before the ball gets there in the secondary, they will be ignored.

Now that you know this, you can watch the game in a less agitated state. Because if there is one thing the Twelfth Cocksucker succeeded doing, it's scaring the zebras. 

As Expected

Shocking:

The NFL now says it was the Packers, not the 49ers, who benefitted from the officials’ mistake on the play, because Staley shouldn’t have been flagged in the first place. The league office reviewed the play and determined that while Matthews was rightly called for a late hit on 49ers quarterbackColin Kaepernick, the official who threw the flag on Staley for getting in Matthews’ face after running over to protect Kaepernick should not have done so.

     Wait, so protecting your team's future and getting punched in the face to do so is *not* a punishable offense? NO WAY. Once again, ignorant Packers fans choose to cling to some ridiculous notion that the refs have it in for them when in actuality THEY WERE HELPED AFTER THEIR GUY CHEAP-SHOTTED SOMEBODY. None of this even matters, but it's nice that this "controversy" is put to bed so quickly and easily. GD I'm glad that was a win yesterday.

   

Oh my god

Oh my god. Oh my god.

Oh my god.
OH MY GOD

OH
MY




GOD.

Guys, I'm really worried about the passing game. I mean, it's Anquan Boldin and nobody else, MIRITE?! (LOL ME)


400 yards. 400 effing passing yards from scrimmage and 3 touchdowns. With no running game, and suspect defense (at times). Stupid penalties. A seeming inability to run a goddamn play within 25 seconds at least twice per drive. Still, 400 yards and 3 touchdowns.

THE 49ERS HAVE AN NFL QUARTERBACK. One who is top 5. One who will laugh in your face if you try to keep him from running, and then WILL THROW FOR 400 YARDS AND 3 TOUCHDOWNS. One who will make an Aaron Rodgers insane stat line look pedestrian.

There's plenty of other things to talk about from that game, but F all of those things. 400 passing yards and 3 Touchdowns. We get to watch a real offense with a dynamic threat running it who everyone is going to be pissing their pants over trying to defend.

Was anyone worried after Lacy's score? Really? Deep down? I was not. My only question was "after CK gets a TD on the next drive, will the defense be able to hold?". It was not in doubt. This offense is GD magic. Amazing.

400 yards and 3 passing touchdowns.