The STINKertary era begins

Get it? GET IT?

That was quite frankly the most pathetic effort in a meaningful game I've ever seen in my life. Where was this passion that we all thought Singletary would bring? If anything, the team was even flatter to start this game than they've ever been before. Mike Martz, teh geniuz, seems to have so answers on offense, or the personnel is so terrible he really can't do anything with it.

Shaun Hill- I'm sure there's some reason JTO started over him this season, but I still havn't ever seen him do anything that warrented being benched. He's not the most explosive QB ever, but when you've got a great RB and decent WRs, you just need a guy who won't eff up your chances of winning, and he doesn't. He doesn't make stupid turnovers. He doesn't fumble when someone breathes on him. He can run a little bit. Why the hell has he been on the bench?

And I can't even begin on the defense. When you let a Fullback take 2 catches over 40 yards for TDs, you have given up and have no pride left. What an absolute joke of a defensive performance. They weren't doing all that terrible at the beginning, but they must have realized they didn't have a hope in hell in this game and just mailed in the second half. Unbelievable.

This team is completely screwed. Offseason needs:

Head coach
Defensive Co-ordinator
Offensive Co-ordinator
Offensive line coach
Linebackers coach
Defensive line coach
Tight-ends coach
Defensive backs coach
Owner
Stadium
Quarterback

I think you get the picture. I know it's not fair to judge Singletary on one game, but there was not a single aspect of this team that was in any way different, let alone improved, during this game. It is going to be a catastrophic embarrasment on national TV in 2 weeks. Maybe, juuuussst maybe he'll be able to change something over the bye, but forgive me for needing to see it first.

Side note: I did like him telling Vernon to quite being a little baby and GTFO. Twould be nice if that lit a fire under the prick.

The Singletary Era Begins

Watching the talking heads on ESPN eulogize the great Mike Nolan is pretty funny.

What a relief.

For the record: Chris Berman is disgusted at this development. He obviously hasn't been watching this season. Probably all those deux deux duex's.

RESULT

THANK THE GOOD LORD IN THE HEAVENS. Rotoworld brings news that I can only hope and pray is accurate:

ESPN's Michael Smith reports that 49ers head coach Mike Nolan is "likely coaching his last game" against the Seahawks this week.
"Barring a dramatic change in course," Smith said on NFL Live, "The team is going to relieve Nolan of his coaching duties and replace him with assistant head coach Mike Singletary." It's not a shock after Nolan was nearly fired last offseason. Since Singletary figures to leave Mike Martz and the offense alone, the possible move doesn't have a huge fantasy impact.

Please, please, pleeaaassee let this rumor be factual. We get the two-fur of ditching Nolan and giving the job to Singletary, not Manusky. Somebody in the front office is using their brain!!! This is exciting!!!! Makes me think McCloughan is actually smart, and that Nolan was standing in the way of progress all along. I cannot wait for that press release.

BTW, there is absolutely no way of knowing whether or not Singletary will be any better, but at this point I think we all prefer the devil we don't know to the idiot we do know.

Getting serious for a minute...

...what exactly are the chances that Mike Nolan is the head coach on Nov. 10th in Arizona on Monday night? I have to admit, I live in an apartment where I have to try to "borrow" internet access right now, and I don't have TV, so I haven't been able to see the entire length of these recent games, but I've been able to watch snippets of the live game and highlights, and from what I've seen lately, the offense is actually going downhill, not improving like we thought it would.

JT O'Sullivan is now the New York Giants version of Kurt Warner- throwing terrible INTs, and fumbling the ball every time anyone even breathes on him. The offensive line looks to be quite awful- Gore has nary a hole to run through, and Jimminy Thaddeus has all of 1.459 seconds to find an open target. What the hell is going on here? And nobody can blame that east-coast BS either, because it was the same in the Pats and Eagles games, and they weren't road games. Why did Vernon Davis disappear? Why is Gore getting 11 carries again?

And then there's the real reason we should get that sweet, sweet press release on the morning of October 27th: the defense. Mike Nolan's defense. He is getting the absolute least out of a marginally talented group that I could possibly imagine. Are they great? No. The defensive line is actually pretty bad, but this defense has some very talented players, and they are a complete seive out there. Brandon Jacobs is very good, so you'd expect to give up some plays to him, but Correll effing Buckhalter? He's ok, but this defense made him look like Westbrook wasn't actually injured. Then you've got the genius move of keeping your fastest and most athletic LB on the sidelines for 2 entire games. Absolutely ridiculous.

One of the arguements I've seen Maiocco make in Nolan's defense is that he took over a team with absolutely no talent and then improved the roster quite substantially. That may be somewhat true, but if so, why is his team still woefully awful? 2-5 after 3 1/2 years is not at all an improvement, I don't care how bad the roster was when you took over. 2 straight seasons with 4 (+?) game losing streaks shouldn't be happening when you've "improved the roster".

Here's something we've never ever evveerrr seen a Mike Nolan-coached 49ers team do: win a game they weren't supposed to win. Notice what the Rams did last week? Or this week for that matter? We would have made Brad Johnson look like Tom Brady. Or what the Raiders did against the Jets? Or the Dolphins against the Pats? Or the perfect example: Chiefs over Broncos. Even the crappiest of the shytiest teams have those games once in a while where you just go "WTF? They won that game?" Have you ever seen the 49ers do that with Mike Nolan coaching them? No, no you haven't. Some may want to count that game in Seattle in '06, but if we're honest with ourselves, we'd realize that the Seahawks totally sucked that season and we were damn lucky to pull that one out.

I honestly cannot see a single reason to keep Mike Nolan. The only good news about this season is that, even at 2-5, we're still only 2 1/5 games out in the division. Maybe if the correct move is made in a couple weeks, we'll actually have a shot, since we know the Tards will do what they always do: be an utter and massive disappointment to everyone.

Mike Nolan: Wrong for the defense, wrong for the 49ers.

I'm a pissed off 49ers fan and I approved this message.

0%:

Both the chances that this isn't a 2 touchdown blowout, and the chances that Mike Nolan keeps his job after the bye week. EXACTLY THE SAME TEAM as last year so far.

Some thoughts on the game while they're fresh like an open wound

Was anyone else completely disheartened on the first Eagles drive when you couldn't see Clements or Harris in the TV frame? This is such a sad, passive defense.

The game provided an instructive comparison in offensive lines. When the Eagles pass protected, their o-line provided a rock-solid wall rarely penetrated by a Niners defender. When the Niners pass protected, the linemen immediately fell back in a loose, pocket-like structure that almost immediately collapsed into JTO. I guess the conclusion here is the 49ers offensive and defensive lines are terrible.

Maybe if Mike Nolan wore his headset, he would be able to communicate with other coaches. Just a suggestion. In fact, he might have heard that Hank Baskett didn't catch that pass.

JT O'Sullivan has been a different QB since the New Orleans game. They must have really rung his bell, because his pocket presence is gone, and he's running scared. Bodes well for next week in the Meadowlands, huh?

Mike Martz. It was fun when he appeared to motivate the Niners offense earlier this season. I suppose some coaches would decide to go pass-whacky with a slim lead and a defense that can't get off the field, but those coaches are no longer employed.

I've been enjoying these "Martz vs. the opposing coach" storylines they keep hyping before the game. It's hilarious because Martz always seems to be 2-8 or 1-4 against the opposing coach.

THAT is how you start (Gameday thread?)

• BOO YES. Quick drive for a TD and a STUFF on 3rd-down defense. THAT is what I'm talking about! Bout fooking time, too.
• And now VERNON EFFING DAVIS hits a big play!?!?!?!?!?! YEAAAA BABY
• That 4th down play was pure Frank Gore. He's good.
• Takeo Spikes? Takeo Spikes? Dude has 3 INTs in 3 games!
• They didn't do anything with the INT, but that was still a HUGE play...and then Andy Lee..WTF?
• Quick question: Why is this defense such a sieve against the run? Good lord this is awful.
• Well that sucks. My online access cut out for some reason and then JT throws the pick. WHY can't we have consistency for once? Jeez
  

Classic Mike Nolan (AKA, another awful loss)

It'd be a relief to become one of those overly-dramatic fans and state, with grave conviction, "No more 49ers football. I'm done." Fact is, I dropped $260 on the Sunday ticket for the pleasure of watching Mike Nolan and Mike Martz fail on a weekly basis, and I'll get my money's worth, damn it.

Who doesn't enjoy watching the 49ers defense get mauled by consecutive 13 and 14 play drives? It's even better when it happens in 4 of the 5 games played this year. At least I know I can go do some yard work in the second and third quarters next Sunday. Because if we know one thing about Mike Nolan, we know he is consistent. Consistently out-coached.

Time of possession? That's for losers (seriously). Why, Martz' grand scheme can score in four plays anytime (except when it really counts).

And how about that hallowed Big Sub package? It's a hollow turd unable to stop even the longest third and long. There's not much you can do defensively without a defensive line. That's kind of a "key" component.

Maiocco reported Mike Nolan knew the name of one Patriot: Wesley Walker. Nolan's familiarity with the name translated perfectly to the field. As that little buttplug Welker scorched the pathetic Niners defense time after time, Nolan was probably canvassing the sideline, "Hey, where's that Walker guy? I've never seen "Welker"."

And we all know that the way to beat Randy Moss is to let him run free. Am I right? The secret to victory is letting Randy run those little 10 yard outs all day, because that way you'll make sure he doesn't burn you for a 70 yard TD...oh...wait.

I laughed out loud when Martz pulled out the direct snap to Gore LATE IN THE SECOND HALF. This tells me one thing: Martz' playcalling "feel" is a lie. He sticks to his plan come hell or high water. That play was probably intended to run in the second quarter, but with the unbalanced time of possession, it got pushed back. He sat on the one play that gave the Patriots fits two weeks ago. He didn't even try it. It would have been perfect on that 3rd and 1 where Gore got stuffed, no?

Are we watching the unraveling of Jiminy Thaddius O'Sullivan? What happened to the pocket presence, and those great sidesteps? Oh, right, New Orleans knocked those clean out the box. Sure, the interceptions were bad, but the throwaway on 4th and forever was a 'head in hands' moment.

The sad news is: there is no upside. It's not going to get any prettier. Mother of god imagine how bad this team is going to be in the Meadowlands in two weeks.

The 49ers will get a new coach sooner or later, probably throw in Shaun Hill as the sacrificial sack doll, and continue to flail against any offense slightly more competent that Detroit's. Booze is the only answer.

OMFG

I just get home...and we're leading a game we should win 21-6???!??!?!? And on the goal line? WHO IS THIS TEAM??

Oh wait, they just epically failed on the goal-line. All is well, guys.

EDIT: SINCE WHEN DO REVERSES WORK????!?!?!?! WOOOOOOO

Old and Tired

Yes, the discussion about whether or not Nolan should be fired IS a tired one. However, a back-and-forth with Maiocco on his blog today got me thinking.

IF the 49ers do well this year (maybe even *GASP* make the playoffs), I think it's safe to assume that it's because the offense is massively improved over last year. We've already seen that it's quite a bit better over the first 2 games.

That situation, says Maiocco, will put a decision before ownership. Who means more to the franchise: Nolan or Martz?

Now, looking at it from the perspective of a jilted 49er fan who's watched all or parts of 90% of the games for the past 3 years, it's obvious that I want Nolan fired. I wanted him fired after last season. But I'm not going to do that. I'm going to put on my "objective, reasonable" cap and view this situation as an outsider.

In doing so, I see that the difference between this team and the team that went 5-11 last year is a new offensive coordinator, and a few new offensive players who were basically brought in by said coordinator. Let's face it- it's unlikely that Bruce or O'Sullivan would have been here without Martz.

The defense is largely unchanged, with the exception being the return of Manny Lawson, the same Manny Lawson who didn't play a single snap last week. A possible season-ending injury to Spencer would be the other change. Through 2 games, it's safe to say the defense is not performing like it did last year, but it is early.

What, exactly, has Mike Nolan done in his 3 years here to save his job if the team does well this season? I am actually asking this question objectively, and am going to try to answer it.

It must be said, the talent on this team is quite a lot better than the team Nolan and company took over in 2005. Back then, the only playmakers were Julian Peterson coming off injury, and Bryant Young. This was before most knew Gore was any good, Kevin Barlow was still the starter, and Brandon Lloyd was being looked to to be a number 1 WR target. (As an aside, I recently came accross a copy of madden 06 and checked out the 49ers roster- not pretty). And the defense...well Joselio Hanson? Derrick Johnston? Mike Adams? Ben Emmanuel? Yikes.

Now, we've got Patrick Willis, Frank Gore, Nate Clements, Micheal Lewis, Vernon Davis (?), and Bryant Johnson (?). There's some question marks for sure, but the talent is at least respectable at most positions.

However, in Nolan's 3 years in San Francisco, the 49ers are 0-8 and have been outscored by 146 points in games played on the east coast. Yes, those numbers are skewed by the 52-17 and 42-3 losses to Washington and Philadelphia in 2005, but last year they were 0-4 and outscored by 60 points. Yes, last year's team was terrible, but part of that was because Shaun Hill was sitting in favor of a guy in his late 30s who was not performing well. And who made that decision?

Quick note: In 2006, the one year under Mike Nolan when the 49ers were close to not having a losing record, they didn't play a single game on the east coast. In the other 2 disastrous years, they've played 4.

OK, I don't want to be too partisan here. But there's more bad news. As we all know, Nolan's teams have been hideous after bye-weeks, going 0-3 and getting outscored by 81 points. A caveat on this: all of those games were on the road. But that is still quite bad.

Let's look at scoring differential: in the 17 games the 49ers have won during Nolan's tenure, they've outscored their opponents 387-298, or 5.2 points/ game. In their 33 losses, they've been outscored 415-959, or 16.4 points/ game. If a team loses a game by 16 points, it's said to be a blowout. Over the last 3 years, the 49ers have, on average, been blown out 33 times. Yes, that's a misleading stat, but that's just the jaded fan sneaking in.

In 3 years, San Francisco has never beaten a team by more than 14 points. Not even the Houston Texans can say that, as they have five such games in the same time period. I don't think that's a meaningless stat, either. It shows that this team has been historically inept for quite an extended period.

Anyways, this whole post is sort of based on a theoretical season that hasn't happened yet. IF the 49ers do well this season, it will come in a year when the major personnel changes from a 5-11 team came through someone who was not Mike Nolan. It will be in a year when the offense was considerably better under a new coordinator, and a year in which Nolan was actually demoted. Nolan gets demoted, the team does better. I'm sorry, but jaded fan or not, that wouldn't be a hard decision to make.

Also: if the 49ers pull a "Nolan" and don't show up against a terrible Detroit team, I'm never watching them again.