It'd be a relief to become one of those overly-dramatic fans and state, with grave conviction, "No more 49ers football. I'm done." Fact is, I dropped $260 on the Sunday ticket for the pleasure of watching Mike Nolan and Mike Martz fail on a weekly basis, and I'll get my money's worth, damn it.
Who doesn't enjoy watching the 49ers defense get mauled by consecutive 13 and 14 play drives? It's even better when it happens in 4 of the 5 games played this year. At least I know I can go do some yard work in the second and third quarters next Sunday. Because if we know one thing about Mike Nolan, we know he is consistent. Consistently out-coached.
Time of possession? That's for losers (seriously). Why, Martz' grand scheme can score in four plays anytime (except when it really counts).
And how about that hallowed Big Sub package? It's a hollow turd unable to stop even the longest third and long. There's not much you can do defensively without a defensive line. That's kind of a "key" component.
Maiocco reported Mike Nolan knew the name of one Patriot: Wesley Walker. Nolan's familiarity with the name translated perfectly to the field. As that little buttplug Welker scorched the pathetic Niners defense time after time, Nolan was probably canvassing the sideline, "Hey, where's that Walker guy? I've never seen "Welker"."
And we all know that the way to beat Randy Moss is to let him run free. Am I right? The secret to victory is letting Randy run those little 10 yard outs all day, because that way you'll make sure he doesn't burn you for a 70 yard TD...oh...wait.
I laughed out loud when Martz pulled out the direct snap to Gore LATE IN THE SECOND HALF. This tells me one thing: Martz' playcalling "feel" is a lie. He sticks to his plan come hell or high water. That play was probably intended to run in the second quarter, but with the unbalanced time of possession, it got pushed back. He sat on the one play that gave the Patriots fits two weeks ago. He didn't even try it. It would have been perfect on that 3rd and 1 where Gore got stuffed, no?
Are we watching the unraveling of Jiminy Thaddius O'Sullivan? What happened to the pocket presence, and those great sidesteps? Oh, right, New Orleans knocked those clean out the box. Sure, the interceptions were bad, but the throwaway on 4th and forever was a 'head in hands' moment.
The sad news is: there is no upside. It's not going to get any prettier. Mother of god imagine how bad this team is going to be in the Meadowlands in two weeks.
The 49ers will get a new coach sooner or later, probably throw in Shaun Hill as the sacrificial sack doll, and continue to flail against any offense slightly more competent that Detroit's. Booze is the only answer.
