If, like me, you've been actively avoiding this goddamn train wreck of a franchise for the last 3 years, bravo! I believe we are better as people for the experience. After having entire weeks ruined by bad performances, I quite enjoyed not being able to name any of the players on the 49ers, or indeed any other NFL team.
The combination of the dull, numb, almost metronomic putridity of the 49ers and the weekly breaking of a new story about a former NFL player killing himself, killing his family, lying in a mental home, or stumbling around blindly thanks to his career choice left me feeling pretty gross about tuning in for games.
Put it this way- for the Super Bowl last year, I chose to watch regular season League of Legends matches over going to a friend's party. I was pretty out, as out as anyone can be on a sport, I suppose.
But, of course, they pulled me back in. I'm still trying to process what exactly happened with the Trent/Jed/Jim unholy trifecta, who turned on who, who was responsible for what, who wanted who to leave and when, and what the fuck Jed was thinking when he decided to choose an inept, insane, moronic GM over the most successful coach the team had seen since Bill Walsh.
The decision Jed made to fire everyone and then hand 6 year contracts to a GM whose bonfides were "hey people seem to think he's a cool dude" and a head coach who'd just overseen an offense that chose to throw the ball 3 times while up 8 on the opponent's 20 yard line with 3 minutes left in the goddamn Super Bowl was sort of classic Jed.
By this point, I'd moved on from thinking this was malicious. Jed wanted what was right for this team, he's just not capable of delivering it. No amount of "HEY FAITHFUL!" videos from this joke of a GM hire were going to change that.
Not sure anyone will ever be able to explain to me how a first year GM with no experience was able to put together a better draft with 3 months of prep than a seasoned career scout and personnel man had since 2012. If you can stand to, take a look at every draft under Trent Baalke. 2011 was pretty good, since then it's been absolute dog feces. Deforest Buckner may very well be the only player he chose in FIVE YEARS that ends up making an all pro team. I hope you're enjoying your time off, Trent. I don't think any other NFL teams will be ringing you any time soon.
I was fairly certain I was out on football. I was following the 49ers this season out of morbid curiosity, wondering if this GM is actually the goods, and whether or not this coach is actually as good as everyone said, or if having Julio Jones and 2 pro bowl QBs would make anyone good.
BUT THEN.
wait look at those eyes wtf
is it even legal to be that handsome
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shoot it in my veins, football. I'm back. Get it in between the toes. I'm never leaving again.
This fuckin' guy, you guys. This guy.
a 1-9 team is now 4-0. Sure, the roster improved and got experience but who are we kidding? This guy is taking dudes who would be lucky to be 3rd options on a real team and turning them into 1000 yard receivers. He's making the best defense in the NFL look like a pop warner squad while playing behind a sieve offensive line and throwing to scrubs.
Is there a reason this guy can't be the best quarterback in the NFL? Can you tell me what kind of person is able to come to a team in the middle of a season with 0 understanding of the offense and 0 previous connections with any of the players, with a 1-9 record and then win four fucking games in row?!
This is for real. This guy is legit, and the 49ers went from "holy goddamn this team sucks" to "wow they're actually going to the playoffs" the instant he set foot in the state of California.
Football, I'm back. Please don't take Jimmy G spot from me. I like what he's doing to my insides.
